Always be my 22

Chpt. 20

-L.A-

"I want you to move to LA with me." He said before kissing my lips again. I pulled away quickly and looked into his eyes, his realization of the fear growing in mine becoming more apparent as he moved away. "Maddie?" He inquired sweetly, his hand moving a pice of hair behind my ear. "Maddie-" "you want... you want me to move where?" I stuttered, trying to come to terms of the words that were becoming blurry in my mind as they kept replaying. "To LA? Just, just forget I said anything..." he rambled. "Tom how can you ask me to move across the world with you and tell me to forget it." I scoffed, getting up to grab a shirt from my dresser so I wouldn't be so exposed to him, so venerable to him.

"I don't want to leave you again, last time you got hurt and I hate being a 12 hour flight away from you. What of something happens again and I can't be there for you?" He said, grabbing a shirt of his own. "Oh so the only reason you want to move in with me is so you can be my surveillance." I spat before throwing our scattered clothes from before into a hamper. "You know that's not what I meant." He watched my every move, knowing the reason I was so busy to clean up the mess we made was to keep my mind off the inevitable.

"Tom you haven't even told me you loved me, how do you think I'm supposed to feel?" I stated, stopping to look at his reaction. "I don't know grateful? Sorry your boyfriend doesn't want to be without you? Sorry he thought you'd be ecstatic that He wanted to wake up every morning next to you and end every night seeing your face?!"

"How could I be so grateful?! Did you ever stop to think I might be happy here? Tom I finally have the job I've been dreaming about since we were kids and now you want me to give it up for you so you could live yours where you want? You took no consideration for me or for my work, so no I'm not grateful that you felt so inclined to be so selfish." I bickered. His face fell to the ground, a heavy scoff leaving his lips before he spoke. "Wow Madelyn..." he began, "I'm selfish? I'm selfish?! Madelyn what about the fact that it took 17 years of you playing with my head until you gave in and accepted the fact you wanted to be with me? Leading me on so many times and fucking breaking my heart? Madelyn Hawaii broke me! Fuck I couldn't even look at you for a year without feeling so god damn shattered!" He yelled, my breath becoming shaken as he went on. "You know what the problem is? Why you keep making these bullshit excuses? you can't get over your commitment issues and every time something it like this comes up, you have to block out and hurt everyone who loves you-" "oh fuck off Felton!" I exclaimed, feeling the tears beginning to pool, threatening to spill the salty water over so it could fall down my cheeks.

I walked out to the living room, petting star as I tried to collect my thoughts. "So you're going to walk away?" He laughed sarcastically, pulling my attention to him. "Yeah I am, because I'm sick and tired of fighting with you." I sighed. "Madelyn don't do this, every time something happens between us you shut off and." He paused before sitting next to me. "It took me so long to be able to love you the way I always have, to show you how much I need you in my life,"

I pressed my eyes together, trying to block the pain out. The pain of the thoughts that were over whelming, the ones he was right about. "I just can't Tom." I sighed.

"Why don't you want to go? Why don't you want to live with me?" He asked harshly. I collected the phrases and worked them out in my head, because I'm scared to leave the place I've lived in for 25 years, I'm scared to leave my family behind, I'm scared that if I move thousands of miles away... you'll find something to hate about me and leave me all alone in a city I don't know. But instead of my carefully made sentences, all that came out of my mouth was, "because maybe I don't love you as much as you do, maybe I don't want to live with you tom."

He got up slowly and turned, blowing the candles out and putting away the surprise he made for me hours before. "Then I guess you don't." He said barley above a whisper, his words unsteady and broken. "And I'm sorry I ever thought you did."