𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 // 𝙩𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙖 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡

twenty.

a/n im going to write my total drama snapchat story hopefully very soon but i have absolutely no plot lines so please be patient because i want to juice out the best product シ
also im supposed to be studying for a test rn oops
also can y'all listen to "how could an angel break my heart" oh my god i cried. it may or may not remind me of a certain couple-
this is a very "trust the process chapter".

heather.

i had nowhere to go. absolutely nowhere. everyone in my family had left. the only thing i could do was move in with someone and disrupt their whole life. it sounded to me like alejandro was the best option. after all, i had already perfected the arts of accidentally destroying his entire life, so moving in wouldn't be such a stretch. i arrived at his wooden doorstep pathetically. we were friends right? his mother opened the door. she was the type of soul where if you look into their eyes you can tell that they were beautiful in their youth. she gazed at me with her sparkling eyes. i expected for her to go ballistic on me, but instead, she welcomed me into the burremento home. "hi heather" she greeted me. "hi" i said shyly. i referred to my stomach and the bags and hoped that she would get the hint. it eventually clicked and she looked as if she were about to spew, but the latina woman held her protest and made me feel cosy and at home. i had absolutely no fucking clue for when i was going to return home. "uh alejandro told me about... the uh... baby" she awkwardly laughed while pointing a hand to her stomach. "yeah" i simply responded. she spoke again. "so uh ho-how did you find out?" she said curiously while opening up the pull out bed from underneath their huge leather couch. "yeah well my friend told me to take a test since i well missed my period since... that.. night." i responded. "have you talked to my son yet?" she asked. damn curiosity got the best of this woman. "yes actually. he took it very well. i actually didn't to be honest." i begin to rethink my stupidity and actions. she must have read my face. "honey it's okay." she said as she leaned in for a hug.

i don't know why, but i began to cry. possibly from the anger i had from the thing with my mum from earlier, or from the confusion of how i would show my face again. or simply because i knew alejandro deserved better than me. but my stubborn ass would never admit it.  "heather sweety, this isn't your fault. a lot of it is my sons to be honest. and yes i will have a conversation with him and his responsibility. you are absolutely welcomed here for as long as your heart contents." I finally understood why the father of my child wanted me to keep the baby so badly. all he desired was for him and his own baby to have the same bond he has with his parents. he wanted me to have that bond with our child. in that moment, it all made sense. i would eventually figure it out. i always do. that night the only thing that crossed my mind was the baby. i didn't know if i couldn't sleep due to the fetus in me or the fact that i had absolutely no idea what to do with it. it was so complex. for about a month i was so certain on abortion but i think i had a change of heart. it wasn't like i was against abortion, which i'm definitely not. it's just that i had been so tired for so long of waiting and waiting for something to happen in my life and i think it finally happened.

maybe i was supposed to have this baby? raise it or not but just carry it. give it to someone who desired a child and wanted it. was patiently waiting and begging for one but god just simply skipped them out. maybe it was my responsibility to give them this child? make them smile as they watch it play with it's toys. make them giggle when they watch it take it's first steps into this fucked up world. make them cry when they graduate. make them scream when they get into their things. make their heart sing whenever they lock eyes with the child. and so then, i knew. i would have this baby. not for me, but for a couple out there who had been trying for years. or a woman who desired to have that special motherly bond with a kid. or that man who him and his partner believed they were ready for a child. this was it. i had a whole entire life to live. i just couldn't have a baby holding me back. i would do it. preform the selfless act of giving someone the thing they would die for.

yes i would be absolutely heart broken as i give away the thing that had been growing inside me, but knowing that i gave  someone that gift would throw the pain away. seeing them smile, and knowing that the child i carried is living a healthy and happy  life with responsible and optimistic people.

this was it.

sorry if this sounded rushed lmao