𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 // 𝙩𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙖 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡

thirty five.

heather.
physics. the one thing i was focusing on when it happened. i paced to my mum's room. pain was throbbing in the lower parts of my stomach. the only thing that i could think of was pain. then it stopped. i had never been so relieved in my life. until that emotion flipped upside down.

the baby was coming.

at twenty-six weeks.

i feared this. struggling to wake my mum up, i punched her in the arms.
"what?" she asked noticing the tears streaming down my face. i could barely see.
"i was doing my physics homework, and this pain just started, and then it went away." i cried. "take me to the hospital" i begged. her eyes flew awake. "I'll get your stuff and you call alejandro. but why are you panicking? you knew this would happen eventually?" she asked completely clueless.
"mum, i'm twenty six weeks!" i yelled.
realisation spread across her face.
"oh my god".

the car ride was miserable. alejandro was on loudspeaker and i wailed in pain. i screamed and cried begging for it to stop. we finally made it to the hospital. my mum demanded a wheel chair. alejandro turned up in a hurry. he hadn't even shaved. he gave a quick peck to my mum on the cheek squeezed my hand with comfort. his mother came rushing in after him. praying at the top of her lungs for this baby.
the doctors and nurses drowned me. something about too much liquid in the amniotic sac was all my ears could make out.
they ushered me to a room, it was ugly but it would have to do. i had difficulty breathing, the doctors required me to take in long breaths and let them out shortly.
"you'll be okay sweetheart!" the kind nurse said.
"i hope so-" this quickly turned into a gut wrenching scream.
"alright we're gonna get her on some epidural" another nurse shouted. that same nurse turned to me quickly and said "we're going to put in a big needle now honey. I'll be real with you, it will hurt. but it will soften the pain".
"anything for the pain" i agreed.

immediately, a breathing devise was forced onto my face. the hot air produced from my mouth trembled. i looked at alejandro, he was ushered out of the room, along with my mother and his, to allow me privacy. the needle sent shivers down my arms but it was worth it. the baby needed to survive.  the conducting doctor glanced at the screen.
"you're only at five cemeteries honey"
"but it hurts so bad" i exclaimed.
my mum came back into the room, rushing to my assistance.
"what do you need?" she asked.
"yeah i can totally get it for you" alejandro added.
"i need this baby to get out!" i wailed motioning to my stomach.

hours flew past. courtney, bridgette and duncan were by my side while geoff attempted to make it a more "fun day". this lasted little minutes until he was kicked out the room for absurd behaviour. duncan followed and they somehow managed to entertain themselves. i truly believed this boy would never see the light of day.

the doctor took another glance at the screen.
"ten centimetres".
alejandro squeezed my hand, desperately longing to end the pain.
courtney and bridgette sent me air kisses as they excited the small overpopulated room.
"alright half the people in this room need to leave for some airspace" the nurse announced.
i looked deep into the eyes of my mother as the guests left.
"do you think it will make it?"
"at twenty-six weeks, i don't know." she admitted.