𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 // 𝙩𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙖 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡

twenty nine

a/n IM WATCHING TIKERBELL AND CRYING FOR THE NASTOLGIA FJRKRKQLEMSNWK

also, since it relates to the current storyline, 97% of women are r*ped, catcalled and sexually harassed. that is fucking disgusting and beyond vile. thankful to be apart of the 3%. stay safe y'all and remember your worth because we are some fabulous fucking creatures 🤍

TW// rape ⚠️

courtney.
107. i walked into the room eager to expose justin in confidence. ms. Dalton was there smiling as principle mclean filed his nails. "hey" she said with a grin. i was weirded out by all this abnormal grinning but i assumed it was supposed to make me feel "safe". as if that can happen in this society. "just sit down here" she pointed to a black chair. i sat and waited for her to say something. "i'm just going to ask you a few questions and tick them off. are you pregnant?" "no", "have you felt sick since it happened?" "no", "and last but not least, has he transmitted an std?" "no". i was starting to get impatient. all i wanted to do was tell this story. she said some stuff to the principle quietly and received a couple head nods. he didn't even bother to look up. he was too occupied with his nails. typical mclean. "tell us whenever you're ready." she said straightening her pink blouse. "well, it all started off when duncan and i hung out at this community place in the woods" she nodded as chef typed a few keys. "we were enjoying our lunch, when i had to use the bathroom. some background informaon, i had turned down justin many times before so i thought it would be normal behaviour, except this time it was different in the worse way possible." she scribbled some words on a piece of paper and advised me to continue.

"can you please explain what you were wearing" she asked. "uh, as if that matters" i scoffed. "courtney, we will have to know simply for the police's purpose". i rolled my eyes. "i was wearing a tight cow print top and baggy jeans" i said grabbing my phone and showing her my previous instagram story. "uh-huh". more scribbling of random words. "can you tell me about the actual situation?" she asked after a nod from principle mclean.
"ok" i took a deep breath and peeked out the window at the students rushing for their classes and the buzz of the atmosphere. "this is in confidence right?" i asked her.
"yes, this information will only surface to the police"
"okay" i said with a harsh breath.
"so um, he grabbed me, i fought back and that got me knocked out. little did he know, i awoke in the car but pretended to be asleep. he took me to the middle of nowhere," my words began to shake. "raped me repeatedly for hours and hours". i observed ms. Dalton's expressions, they were melancholy but soon became disgust and anger. she seemed disappointed in humanity. i continued. "after he did this, he brought me back," my lips began to quiver. "and acted like nothing ever happened" i cried into my hands.

i looked up. "and the worst part is" she leaned in to hear properly.

"i was fully aware of it the whole time. i felt silenced, like this was the only thing i was good for. i was always prepared for this situation, i always thought that i would just use simple self-defence, but when it actually happens, you forget everything. you want to get away but you're always pushed back. you're screaming and no heads turn. you're drowning, but water is no where to be found. you're told over and over again that it will get better, but it never will. you just have to keep pushing. or keep swimming i guess," i chuckled to myself on that last one, who knew disney would connect to something so dark. "you always believed that this would never happen to you, that you're protected, no one can harm a hair on your head. at least that is what i thought". i found myself staring into nothing. not even space. just the creamy white paint of the wall.

i didn't think i would cry today. i was a strong woman. didn't i already show this emotion already? didn't i get that part out of the way?

wait. i was being selfish. at least i wasn't pregnant. my friend was literally in her second trimester of a teen pregnancy and i was crying because i essentially had sex without my consent. heather was literally dealing with a breakup, being kicked out of her own home, fear of giving birth and flat out confusion and this was what i was crying about. i had to grow up. she had a worse problem than me, hell, people were dying on the street, some people were killing each other for a simple meal at dinner time, this rape was just a minor inconvenience in my week. i would get over it. it's not that big of a deal.