Kid Doctor ~ Spencer Reid

Ignored Fixations

Reid was off rambling about a new book he had read, smiling wide as he talked. He was gesturing a lot with his hands, basically vibrating.

"And-And the way that they set up the main character- um- Atticus, the author talks about the young male like he's been there before and by the end of the book we find out that he had actually been there before! It was predictable, but it was a wonderful twist to the end of the novel considering the fact that the author hid it so well. It was an incredible ending to the book with the amount of futuristic technology used and the way that it mirrored the Matrix in a way that didn't quite-"
"REID."

Spencer's head snapped up, eyes landing on Gideon.

"That's enough. Stop bothering JJ."

Spencer swallowed the lump rising in his throat, nodding slightly.

"Right, um, sorry, JJ."

Spencer's smile had dropped almost instantly, moving away from his small edge sitting on JJ's desk and going to his, melting back into his slightly slumped position and typing.

———————————————————————————

"You know, the way that the Death Star works is actually really intriguing."

Reid glanced up at Morgan, curious if he was allowed to start rambling about his new favorite topic. When he received a small nod, a smile came in to his features as he continued talking.

He talked about how horrifyingly destructive the Death Star could be, the smile growing as he casually cleaned the contents of his desk with a wipe.

"The-The construction time of the Death Star was off, but only by a few years. Of course, this is also assuming that they had technology to do this, since the laser itself would be nearly impossible without the use of the fictional Kyber crystals. The fact that the laser is-is green provides a completely different thing since they don't use the corrupted red crystals, so these ones had to be harvested from the source exactly but-but they don't have access to those kinds of things so-"

Spencer looked up to grin at Morgan, then realized he had probably been talking to himself for a good 30 seconds, probably more. That shut him up rather quickly and it caused his smile to melt, glancing at the floor, then at the things at his desk and just went back to cleaning them.

———————————————————————————

"Please, I'm begging you, can we dim the lights in here? Do something to make them not as harsh?"

Spencer asked, desperate eyes looking around the room. They had travelled to LA, but everything in the building was loud. The lights especially were getting to him and he could barely think when other things got in the way.

"We can't do anything about it."

Hotch didn't even look up from his file. No one did.

"I-I can barely think, please, I-I need somewhere quieter then this I can't-"
"Reid!"

Spencer flinched at the outburst, glancing up at Morgan.

"We can't do jackshit. Deal with it."

Spencer swallowed hard, pushing his palms into his eyes and swallowing the rising bile in his throat.

"O-Okay."

He barely whispered, trying his best to just deal with it. They regretted it when, not even a full 30 minutes later, Reid excused himself shakily to the bathroom where he just sat for a good 20 minutes with his jacket over his head, rocking on the bathroom floor in the larger stall to calm himself down from the overwhelming sensations.

No one checked on him, no one even asked if he was okay when he came back with red, puffy eyes.

———————————————————————————

Nightmares, rambles, overwhelming sensations, Dr. Spencer Reid was tired of being told to deal with things he can't really control. He broke.

"And-And you can tell from different ways that the bruising on the skin appears around the wrists and neck that the unsub here used his hands, obviously, but held on a lot tighter then he needed to. See, the pressure marks around the neck aren't the same. They-They show that it wasn't the same person. The pressure wasn't the same. It's the same way that they knew the Black Valley Killers (not actual serial killers, just a name) were a duo. The male and female had separate styles of choking out their victims-"
"Thanks Reid."

Hotch cut him off and Spencer just went silent, going back to his board. He didn't know why, but for some reason, today in particular, he was done of being told to shut up, stop talking, sit down. He was tired. He didn't even realize tears had welled in his eyes and he was completely zoned out, staring at the board until-

"REID."

He snapped out of it, his heard turning to look at everyone as a single tear trailed down his cheek. He didn't even notice it.

"Yes?"

Hotch's face softened a little.

"What's wrong?"

Spencer thought. He didn't know about what, but he bit his bottom lip to think.

"I'm never allowed to talk."
"Yes you are, constantly."
"Not when I want to. It doesn't matter what kind of topic I'm talking about, I'm cut off."
"You ramble."
"I can't help that."

Morgan spoke to now.

"We don't really want to hear you, Spencer."
"I-I know that, you've all made it obviously clear that my interests aren't something any of you want to hear, but I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have friends, if that wasn't very obvious already. I don't-I can't make friends. I'm already fortunate enough you all put up with me enough to act like you enjoy my company, so why do I burden you guys with more information that no one wants?"

Reid was clearly distressed about this, packing up his bag quickly.

"Calm dow-"
"Do not tell me to calm down. I'm tired of hearing that I-I-I need to take breath or that I need to just think a little about it. I'm tired of hearing you guys all treat me like I'm a five year old child. I'm 23 and I have three PhD's, for God's sake. I don't care if I don't have ten or twenty years of experience in this field like most of you do, but I can handle my own as I have every damn time something happens to me. Just every once in a while sit there and do your work while I talk about something to the only people I trust enough to talk to."

He slung his bag over his shoulder, picked up his coffee, and swiftly left the room. He was done.