N I N E T E E N

379 18 3
                                    

June 19th, 2010

Skye left a few hours later after we exchanged phone numbers and promised to call each other. To say I was conflicted was a gross understatement. I felt an extreme mix of emotions, and not one of them stayed out for more than thirty seconds. I was stressed, upset, angry, disappointed, happy, confused, and it was all at the same time. Sure, I'd felt attraction towards women before, but I just brushed it off as wanting to be their friend or thinking they were pretty. And of course, I've felt attraction towards men, what girl hasn't. I turned to stare myself down in the mirror, and suddenly the girl I was looking at was a complete stranger. I wasn't the girl who kissed people she just met in her gym, but the girl I saw in the mirror was. I saw myself, and I didn't know who I was.

I wondered what it meant, what it meant to like both guys and girls. I wondered if I even liked guys or if I only told myself I did. I wondered if this was just an in-the-moment thing or if I actually liked Skye. I mean, I'm pretty sure that I actually liked Skye. But did she like me, or did she feel pressured to kiss me?

God, what would Dad say? What about Aunt May, Nat, Uncle Nick, Clint? What would my mom have said? I want to think she would approve, but I'm not sure. And my birth father, JG, what would he have to say? Mom said he's a bad person, but that didn't change the fact that he's my father and a part of me wants his approval.

"What happens if they don't support me? Will they kick me out? Where would I go? I doubt Stark would let me stay with him. He doesn't seem like the type of person to do that. Pepper might, though, but the conversation is yet to come up. I've got some money; I could live on my own. Not in California, though, no, I'd need to live somewhere cheaper," I spoke my thoughts out loud, not paying mind to the fact that Nat just walked in behind me.

"Why are you going to California," she asked, causing me to jump at least a foot in the air.

"Jesus Christ, Nat," I yelped, "you know, knocking would be nice."

"Mmhmm, sure, now tell me, why are you going to California?"

"I-uh-well-I kinda," I stammered, "heh, it's kinda hard to explain."

"Lay it on me. I'm sure I'll understand."

I took a deep breath, "Well, this morning, I went to a coffee shop so I could have some coffee and read, and while I was there, I met a girl, Skye. I took Skye back here because she doubted that I could fight, and, well, we boxed and wrestled for a bit. I won almost every time, of course, but she won the last round and, uh..."

"You kissed, didn't you?"

"I- how did you know?"

"You have that look on your face."

"Oh."

"So, you like girls?"

"Yes...I think...I don't know Nat. It's so confusing."

"Well, can you see yourself on dates with her and stuff?"

I thought for a minute, "Yeah, yeah, I can. But I can also see myself on dates with guys."

"Well then, congratulations, my dear, you are bisexual."

"Okay, well, do you care?"

"Not one bit."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, kid, it's your life. I don't care what you do as long as you happy and healthy, and I'm sure Coulson and the others feel the same."

I nodded, "Thanks, Nat."

"Sure."

"Rosemary, Natasha, come on up for dinner," yelled my dad.

"Alright," she and I yelled in unison before racing up the stairs.

We were about halfway through an oddly quiet dinner when I got tired of the silence, "I like girls."

I continued to eat my pasta as my family, excluding Nat, gawked at me.

"What," said my dad, finally.

"I. Like. Girls. Technically I'm bisexual, but it's whatever. It's not a very hard concept."

"Yeah, she had her first kiss and everything," chuckled Nat.

"Whe- when did you find this out? When did this happen," asked Aunt Mel.

"Earlier today," I took a bite of pasta.

"And you're just telling us less than twenty-four hours later," asked Clint.

"Yep," I popped the p.

"That's ballsy."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, I'm proud of you for telling us, but now I need to know, are you dating this girl?"

"No, I'm not, though I'd like to."

A/N: Hey guys, happy Saturday! I'm very happy to say that I finally got a new computer, which should work much better than my old one in terms of speeds and such, which means that I may be able to update the book more frequently! Also, I know that Rosemary's coming-out situation was very weird and quick, but it's very similar to how I came out to my mom and friends, so it was the only way that I knew how to come out. I decided that I'd rather write something that I know is true and authentic than something that I may portray ineffectively. Anywho, thank you guys for 1.1K reads!!! You guys are absolutely incredible!!! Love y'all!!! :) <3

An Assassin Never TellsWhere stories live. Discover now