Nothing Lasts Forever (Phan)

Chapter 10

Phil POV

When I wake up the next morning, I check my phone to find Dan had uploaded a video. Groggily wiping my eyes, I click the notification and sit up straighter to watch it.

"Hello Internet. It's been a long time since I've filmed here." I stare at Dan's face, wishing I could walk around the corner and see him the lounge waiting for me to wake up so we could watch anime. "Now I'm aware Phil has told you I left with a mysterious note, and there's thing blowing up my Twitter feed about #comehomehowell?" Dan pauses, mulling over something.
"Screw it." He whispers faintly. "I love you Phil. That's why I left. Because right now, you need a friend to support you, not me announcing I'm gay. I didn't want to put you under more stress than you already are, that's why I can't come home. Because even if you love me back, the last thing you need is 'phan coming out' and everyone freaking out over that." Dan starts crying, and my chest burns at his words. I should have told him from the start. I should have told him I wished every word of the valentine video had been real. That I would've rather have sleep in his bed than listen to the storms on my own. That every time he looked at me in a video I could feel it burning into my cheek and it was all I could do to stop myself from kissing him. I should have told him I loved him.

"Without you Phil, I can't keep doing any of this." Dan gestures to the camera and I frown, worried. "Give me a ring when you've got a kid that needs an uncle. I love you. I love all of you."Dan squeezes his eyes close and clenches his jaw so hard I clench my own. "Goodbye Phil. Goodbye Internet."

The video ends and I stare at my phone in shock. Goodbye Internet?! He didn't mean- he wasn't going to kill himself was he? I curse and ring his mother. as soon as she picks up I start babbling away.

"Dan, he just, is he okay? Let me talk to him! Dan!" I scream. "Dan I love you!"

"Phil." His mother says gently. "Dan's fine. but he's not here anymore. He wouldn't tell me where he was going, but he said he knew you would ring, and to tell you he's sorry."

I start pacing around my bedroom, raking a hand through my hair.

"Do you have any idea where he might of gone?" I finally ask in exasperation. Dan's mum sighs.

"I'll call you if I find out anything Phil." Then she hangs up. I let out frustrated scream.

"What am I supposed to do Dan?" I scream to the empty apartment. "You've decided there's no chance for us so you ruin both our lives?" I collapse to the ground and start screaming and crying. I lay there for hours, screaming until I lose my voice and crying until I fall asleep. And that's how my mother found me at one pm.

"Phil." She shakes me awake gently. I jolt awake and look at her. I take one look at her face and burst into tears again. She wraps me in her arms and slowly manages to calm me down.

"I saw Dan's video." She whispers quietly. I sniffle.

"He didn't even give me a chance to say it back."

"You know, the moment you bought him home I knew you would fall in love. It was just meant to be." Mum muses. I sit up straight.

"Well we sure look meant to be right now don't we?" I laugh harshly. "I can't track him down either if he won't even tell his mother where he's going."

"Phillip he will come home. He just needs time."

"He's the one that always says life is too short." I say, standing up.

"Exactly." Mum stands beside me. "If he truly believes that, then give him a week or two and he'll come home. Now check what that phandom of yours has done, you've made it to national news."

"What?!" I yelp. Mum takes my phone and opens up a news website. I skim read the article, my jaw getting closer to the ground every second.

"'The Phandom' has even raised enough money to hire private investigators to find Daniel Howell, and did so in record time. #comehomehowell has taken the world by storm, and support is pouring in for distraught Phillip Lester as his subscribers soar past the eight million mark and rising steadily." I read, my voice getting more and more shocked. Grabbing my laptop, I turn it on and log into YouTube, beyond belief at everything going on. Louise, had made a video. PJ had made a video. Chris, Felix, Cat, Carrie, they were all making videos title #comehomehowell. Tears well up in my eyes, and I feel a spark of hope reignite in my heart.

"Phil come look at this!" Mum calls from the living room. I leave my bedroom and walk down the hallway. The TV is playing E! News, and they're talking about our story.

"Its everywhere." Mum claps delightedly. "He'll be home in no time if this keeps up, he has private investigators after him. Your phandom works fast doesn't it?"

I nod, dumbfounded.

"That they do."