Bucky x Y/N - Life In Hydra

Chapter 1

Bucky rested his back against the cold, concrete wall and closed his eyes, tired from the day's events. I walked over and slid down the wall beside him, to keep him company.

I thought to take his mind off things we could play a game.

"So," I began, "Let's play a game."

"Not right now, I'm tired," Bucky replied.

I edged closer to his face, "Well stop being tired! Come on, I'm bored!"

He opened his eyes and looked at me, "Fine, what are we playing?" He sat up and I smiled, thankful I could change his mind.

"Noughts and crosses," I took two sticks from the floor surrounding me, and began to gather dirt.

"No, you always cheat. I'm not playing that with you, something else," Bucky said, smiling.

"Connect four?"

"Nope," Bucky said.

"Why not? It was fun last time?" I asked.

"Last time, you lost and had a tantrum," Bucky turned to me.

"I should have won and you know it!" We both laughed, "Okay, well what do you want to play?"

"Never have I ever," Bucky smirked.

"No," I replied bluntly.

"Why won't you let me in?" Bucky said, looking sad.

I stopped tracing a stick through the dirt on the floor and looked up to him; I wasn't sure what he was talking about. Bucky knew more about me then I knew about myself.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up.

"Every time I ask you something about yourself, we change subject. Every time I want to learn something about you, with a game of never have I ever, as example, you say no."

Bucky was right. It was hard for me to open up - even to him. Bucky had been so kind to me ever since HYDRA kidnapped me and my family.

My father had secretly worked for HYDRA, and actually was the one who helped aid HYDRA in abusing and experimenting on Bucky. But he quit his job, to be a family man. To see me off to college and be with my mum. But instead, they kidnapped all three of us, and later killed my parents. They saw me fit and healthy, and decided I would be Bucky's side girl. Luckily, that wasn't how Bucky saw me.

I was frightened to tell Bucky about who my father was, or about anything in my personal life. I doubted Bucky would ever look at me the same if he knew that the man who raised me, was the man who held up his hand to Bucky every night, just to keep him quiet and obedient.

"Well, Y/N?" Bucky said, and I realised I had been lost in thought for a few moments.

"Sorry. Bucky... you know I trust you, with my whole life..." I began.

"So why can't you tell me?" Bucky interrupted me, sitting up.

I couldn't lie and tell him that I couldn't remember, because they didn't feel it necessary to erase your memories – I was naturally quiet.

"I... I don't know," I stuttered.

"Y/N, you know I would never keep anything from you. I told you the first time I remembered Steve, when I had that dream. I can't tell you a lot about me, because I don't know anything about me. My name is... was Bucky, and I knew a man called Steve. But you," he placed a hand on my shoulder, "You know who you are. And I pray to god I did too, but I don't. You take it for granted."

Bucky stood and walked over to his bed. He carefully lay down and stared up to the ceiling, most likely thinking, as I just was.

For a moment, I sat on the floor, not moving, thinking about what I was going to say to him. Until I finally stood and made my way over to his bed.