love, or the lack thereof (p. davidson)

one

"Shea."

"Shea."

"Shea."

The final echo of my name reached me bringing me out of my trance.

"What's going on?"

I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to speak. I actually didn't even want to be here. The entire idea of therapy is bullshit and a scam in my personal opinion. If it hadn't been for Claire I wouldn't be here.

"This is all bullshit ya know." I said bluntly refusing to look up at my annoyingly positive therapist.

"What is?" How dumb could this bitch be.

Sinking deeper into the leather chair my gaze stayed on the dirty tile floors under my feet. What I wouldn't give to be able to burn this building down right now.

"All of this... it's all bullshit Gretchen." I purposely used the woman's name to hopefully get a reaction out of her. I had only just met this lady thirty minutes ago and she was already barging her way into my life.

"Listen I know you don't want to be here, a lot of people don't want to but at this point it's your only option to get better." Gretchen sighed. I could hear the tiredness in her voice meaning I had worn her down. Exactly what I wanted.

"Can I just leave early?" I asked moving my hood further over my head,  praying to some god above that I would be able to get the fuck out of this hell they call therapy.

"There's only ten minutes left. I think you can handle staying here for that short amount of time." She said cheery. I could already envision the cheesy smile she had stuck upon her stupid face.

"Or you could just let me leave since there's only ten minutes left." I said smiling sarcastically my eyes meeting with hers.

"Fine... but only because it's your first time here. But I expect you to come back next Wednesday." She said sternly.

Standing up from my chair i looked at the fairly older then me, pale women.

"Fine whatever." I said rushing towards the closed door and rushing out into the hallway. Turning the corner I walked into the large waiting room where just forty minutes ago I sat in utter dread.

"Thank fucking god I'm never fucking come back here." I yelled happily as I pushed the doors open to leave. Even if people turned their heads to look at me I couldn't give a fuck. I was never coming back to this hell even if Gretchen thought I was.

Walking to my car I grabbed my keys from one of the pockets of my black sweat shorts, unlocking the car. I sighed as my back hit the drivers seat. Resting my head on the seat I closed my eyes for a moment before driving off.

-

"I can't fucking believe you made me go to that shit hole." I called as I entered into Claire's small house where I had been living for the past two months due to my dad kicking me out. Apparently I was to "unsafe" to be around my two younger sisters. At least that's what court decided. Honestly I was happy to finally be out of that house. It was a living hell when I was there anyway.

I made my way into the living room where Claire and Megan were sitting on the couch playing some sort of video game.

"So I'm guessing it didn't go well?" Megan asked me sarcastically before giggling along with Claire.

"No shit." I huffed as I flopped down into the large beanbag that sat near the couch.

"Listen I just thought it would be a good idea, it's helped me a lot so I thought it might help you." I could hear Claire say from the couch as my eyes were closed.

"Well maybe it works for you but it doesn't for me. I'm not going back no matter how hard that bitch Gretchen tries to get me to come back." I laughed

I could hear Claire sigh. She could be annoyed with me for all I cared, I was only being honest.

"Did you learn anything?"

Sitting up I looked towards Megan who had asked the question.

"Bitch no... none of the "advice" she gave me would work for me." I said with air quotes.

"Well how do you know if you don't try." Claire said setting down her video game remote as she paused the game her and Megan were playing.

"Listen all I need is weed and non annoying friends to be good." I laughed

"Shut up." Claire said laughing as well.

The three of us sat in the living room conversing about random shit until Megan eventually had to go back to her parents house. Though her parents thought she was an "angel child" they didn't know about the shit she did with us.

"Bye bitch." I side hugged her before she waved goodbye and headed out the door and into her car.

Closing the front door, I walked into the kitchen where Claire was making some food. What was it? I didn't know but it smelled like dog shit. She swore she could cook but Megan and I both knew she only said that to make her feel better.

"Was therapy that bad Shea?" She asked me as I sat across from her on a stool.

Sighing I set my elbows on the kitchen island and buried my head into my hands.

"Yes Claire it was hell. I'm actually kinda pissed at you still for calling Gretchen." I said anger clearly strung out through my words.

"Listen I'm sorry okay... I just thought it would help." She said sadly, now making me feel bad.

Lifting my head, her sad eyes were dead set on me. Fuck her for making me feel any type of remorse for her.

"It's fine." I said shortly, "is Liv coming over tonight or do I not have to worry about walking in on you guys fucking." I smiled teasingly

"Okay it happened one time and you act like you've never heard of sex before." She laughed

"In my defense I've never seen two girls going at it before okay." I said laughing with her.

"Fine and yes they are coming over, I'll make sure to lock the door this time." She winked at me as she drained some sort of pasta into a strainer that rested in the sink.

"Great." I sighed sarcastically as I spun around in my stool before getting up and walking into my room.

Looking through my desk drawer I found my stash of weed. I rolled up a joint, taking my lighter out from my pocket my finger smoothly flicking the metal piece as an orange spark lit  the joint on the first try.

Throwing the lighter onto my desk, I laid down on my bed putting some earbuds in and purposely turning on some loud music to drown out all of my thoughts and the world around me. I let the smoke overtake my body sending me into a state of relaxation.

-

Short chapter to start off with. Just introducing some of the characters before we get into the nitty gritty details of this story.