[ TommyInnit One-Shots ]

"Would I?"

Trigger Warnings: Poor Body Image, Underage Drinking, Suicidal Thoughts. 

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"I thought if I was older I'd have less on my shoulders."
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

Here he was, sat alone by the entrance of his hotel, muttering to himself quietly. The blonde had just got out of the prison and nobody had really talked to him. He had rebranded his hotel again because Jack had practically stolen his business. Looks like he really can never get a break.

"I can't tell if I'm sad or bored. Most nights I am not sober!"
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

In Tommy's hand was a bottle. The bottle being a type of alcohol. If anyone saw he would probably be in some deep shit, but then again, people never seemed take notice to his emotions anyway, so it would be fine.

A sigh escaped his cut lips as he took a sip of the beverage. The liquid caused said cuts on his lips to burn, but all he did was smile at the burning sensation. The teen soon got bored and pulled himself up off the ground, leaning against the wall for support.

'L.M's (L'Manburg) making me colder... I've got voices I can't ignore! Everything is never enough...'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

The local problem child walked down the wooden path towards the place that he once called home. As he stared down at the crater that was now covered in glass, he stared blankly. He would have been upset if if wasn't for the drink he still had in his hand.

He had only drank around a quarter but he was less sober then one should be as he was underage and hadn't been exposed to any amount of alcohol before.

'If I wasn't afraid of love, yeah... I would've hugged ya.'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

Tommy 'carefully' sat down on the ground as he thought back about Tubbo. The brunette hadn't really been talking to him much, he was usually busy with Ranboo or just SnowChester in general. He would visit him, but he thought it would be best to just not be a burden.

'If I wasn't so insecure...'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

The blonde laughed weakly as he placed the bottle that he had in his hand beside hook as he sat there looking down at the crater. Tears formed in his eyes as he reached up a hand to feel his face. His face was covered in so many bruises, cuts and scars from over all the conflict that had happened over the years. It definitely wasn't the best sight, but better then how underweight he was. But it wasn't like he had an appetite anyway.

'If I wasn't easy to hurt then I wouldn't hurt ya!'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

If he was honest, the main reason he was like this, was to hide the fact that he was hurting. All the dumb jokes, the random insults, ect. They were all to hide what he was really feeling. But could you really blame him? Talking about your feeling is hard.

The boy sighed as he wiped his eyes. His picked up his beverage and took another large sip, causing his throat to burn. He coughed quietly and placed down the bottle again. The boy rubbed his eyes in frustration, tensing up as he touched his black eye.

'If all of my friends wanted to jump, would I, would I?'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

The teen's face paled at his own thoughts. Sure, he was messed up but he wouldn't- He wouldn't actually do that. Right...?

Who was he kidding he had almost done it before, of course he would 'almost' do it again.

A groan escaped the boy's lips as he ran his fingers through his hair to hopefully get some kind of comfort. It didn't help much, but it was better than nothing.

'If I could feel nothing, if I could feel numb... Would I, would I?'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

The teen chuckled to himself as he picked up his beverage and downed the rest of the drink. Afterwards he instantly started coughing violently,  quickly dropping the bottle as he gripped his shirt and sat up straight to hopefully catch his breath.

'If I could forget you without all the drugs. Could I, could I?'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

As the blonde caught his breath back he took a deeply shake breath and let himself fall backwards. He hissed in pain as he smacked his head on the ground a bit too hard but soon got over it, putting his hands behind his head as a pillow.

The sun began to set over the horizon, and Tommy just stared at the beautiful sight. Oh how he wished everything could be this beautiful and peaceful.

'If all of my friends wanted to jump-- Would I, would I, would I, would I?'
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

The calm and soothing atmosphere soon changed once this thought made it's way back to the front of the boy's mind. His expression went blank as be thought about the question.

"Would I?"

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802 Words
💀 I have nothing to say about this. -Noi