Will I Lose You Too

Bad memories

A couple of weeks or so had passed and Harry was completely over the fact that Occlomancy was a real thing. Just a few days prior he had asked Cho to hogsmeade and he won't know that it was the worst choice of his life, let's just say the girl had some issues. Otherwise He was stacked with homework from this and he still had some of last weeks to do too.

He was so exhausted he could barely stay awake in any of his classes, not because of his nightmares but because of Snape and how long he kept him out.
Let's just say that Snape wasn't the only person Harry was trying to avoid.
Harry, Ron and Hermione we're sitting at a table in the library talking.

"Did you get the essay finished for potions by any chance?" Ron said to Hermione.
"You need to do it yourself Ron" Hermione said turning up her nose "The homework will help prepare you for the O.W.L.S, it's very important that you finish by yourself."

"But I" said Ron pointing at himself and waving his hand around "think that it is very important for me to get sleep at night"

"Ron you're always worried about the wrong thing" Hermione said, criticizing him.

"My health and wellbeing is not something to worry about!" Ron said looking a little offended "Just look at Harry" he said whisper shouting.

Harry had his elbow on the table, his head was proper up on his hand. His hand was pushing up against his cheek making his glasses go askew. His hair was messier than usual and he had fallen asleep.....again.

The occlumency lessons were draining him and he could barely keep his eyes open anymore.

Hermionie glanced over at Harry with a concerned look and so did Ron, they were both worried.
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Harry was back in his memories trying to push Snape out of his memories, but this time it was one of the tougher times. It wasn't trying to push Snape out of his mind that he had but it was all of the memories that he was having to relive again that was making it hard.

Harry was in his third year lying next to Sirius' almost lifeless body, everything felt like his very life of his soul was being taken away from him. All the happiness and joy he had felt prior was gone from the presents of the dementors. As the dementors came closer to his face the scene started to swirl and soon enough he wasn't in the forest but in a graveyard. The same graveyard he was in in 4th year, the someone that constantly caused him sleepless nights in the summer and the sameone where he witnessed Cedric.

Harry wanted more than ever for this to stop; he closed his eyes not being able to watch it happen again. He was trying to push the memory away but could still feel the weight of the memory there. He heard a curse that had ended Cedric's life and then felt the thud of his body hit the ground of the graveyard.

He opened his eyes hoping to not see Cedric lying there dead on the ground but instead he was on a dark street.

It was the middle of the summer break, he was outside walking. Harry couldn't quite remember what was happening at first until he saw a dementor. The same one from last summer when he got yelled at by Sirius.

The same unsettling chill made its way back into his body, just like the night it happened. The same feeling of his stomach dropping all the way to his feet and the helplessness.

But this time he couldn't move or cast his patronus, it was like he was frozen in place....petrified. His fear was rising every inch the dementor was getting closer.

As it finally came face to face with him he felt the same pulling feeling from the previous years before. Like his soul was being sucked from his body all over again.

He couldn't tell if it was real or not anymore, his mind was twisting his memories.

He heard the all too familiar scream of his mother and fell on his knees. Harry was suddenly pulled out of the memory with no warning. He was back in the potions classroom on the ground breathing heavy.
He could feel the sweat slowly trickling down his forehead as he tried to regain his strength. Harry felt weak and drained of all energy and will to fight back anymore.

"You did not even try to fight back Potter how.....pathetic" Snape said in his cold sneer.
Harry could feel his anger rising making the pit of his stomach turn with his hatred.

"Now get up and defend yourself"

Harry got up to his feet as quickly as he could, anger rising as he did so. Harry put his wand at the ready.
"Legilimens," Snape said with his wand pointed at Harry casting the spell.

Harry was thrust into more memories. He was back in the chamber of secrets fighting the basilisk.

Quickly he spun into a different moment he was back I. The dark hallway and.....and, Harry felt the overwhelming weight of the spell lift.

He looked up to see Snape sneering at him once again.

"How pathetic Potter" Snape put his wand at the ready and cast it again.
But this time Harry blocked it and penetrated Snape's mind.

He was outside Harry noticed that Snape's memories felt different, darker and colder.

He looked around a little more and realized that he was at Hogwarts near the Great Lake. Harry saw what looked to be a young and ugly Snape reading a book under the tree. As he looked to the side he saw a group of four boys about his age.

One of the boys is short and stubby and had blond hair, smirking with his big front teeth sticking out separating himself a little from the other two that were watching from afar.

There was a tall leanthly boy with short light brown hair, he looked quite uncomfortable with the situation but calm. As if he was dragged along against his will almost. Harry also noticed that he had scars running down his face which seem to make him look like he was almost in pain as well. He was whispering to the boy next to him which had long black shoulder length hair. Harry noticed that the boy with long hair had a look of arrogance. Harry made slight notes about the way each of them looked at each other differently from the other, Harry seemed to recognize the look to be all too familiar.
And finally the boy at the head of the group that seemed to almost be a spitting image of him. He had messy black hair and glasses just like his. He walked eagerly with ambition getting ready to approach the boy beneath the tree.

Harry knew that this was his father and the tree in the back were his Godfather, Remus and Peter.
But before he could see what happened he was back in the  potions room right where he was before.

"I'm surprised Potter" Snape said not sounding surprised at all "Now let us see if you can do it again"
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Harry was back in the common room not having blocked or pushed Snape out of his mind again. But now his scar was hurting more than ever. He felt horrible like he was about to throw up almost.

"You look horrible" Hermione said in a shocked voice

"I feel horrible" Harry said walking you to the dorms

"What happened mate"Ron looked shocked to see Harry's pale face.

"Nothing my scar just really hurts"

"You need to go to the hospital wing, you look like your going to be sick" Hermione said, trying to convince Harry to come down the steps.

"I'll be fine" Harry said entering the dorm

As soon as he walked in he got light headed and a weird feeling came like a wave over his body. It felt as if he wasn't there in the dorm; it felt like he wasn't even himself.

He fell to the ground in immense pain from his scar but he was laughing. It wasn't his laugh though. It was someone else's. It was cold and cackling laughter but it had joy in it.

It felt like someone had taken over his body.
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Hope y'all liked it. It's been a while I have just been really busy and like my whole plan fell through so 🤷‍♀️oh well. But I am finally glad to update this chapter. And will recently finish fifth year this month.
Please comment and vote👌👍👍