Will I Lose You Too

Tired

Eyes that we're looking glazed over; we're all Sirius could see when he would steal a glance across the table in the deathly quiet room.

Harry looked like he had had a rough night and Sirius noted, Harry was just staring at nothing like he was out of it.

Sirius looked over at Remus and could see his eyelids getting heavier by the moment.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some rest moony," he leaned over and whispered.

"It's fine Sirius" Remus whispered back, he would love to go upstairs and finally sleep in his bed again but he didn't want to leave Sirius all by himself.

"Are you sure, you just look so tired"

"It's fine and besides how much longer could they possibly be" Remus whispered, looking at his watch reading that it was 4:00 am.

"Hopefully not too long" Sirius whispered with a huff.

"And besides," Remus added on "It's not me you should be worried about," Remus said, shooting a glance over at Harry.

Sirius followed his eyes over to Harry seeing that Harry was still staring at nothing and a little less tense. A frow formed on Sirius' thinking of what Harry had said earlier that evening explaining what had happened. He could only imagine what was going through Harry's head right now.

Sirius just didn't want Harry's nightmare to be a burden on his back to the point where it just dove Harry mad. He didn't want Harry to experience the suffering that came with all of the horrible 'dreams' because he knows what it's like reliving his worst nightmares.
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A few hours had passed; Remus had fallen asleep in his arms that were resting on the table and so had some of the weasleys. Mrs.Weasley eventually showed up bringing good news that Aurthur was still alive. 

Mrs.Weasley had started to cook breakfast and Sirius woke up Remus and Sirius went with him to the stairs.

"I'll be up in a minute Rem, just get some rest" Sirius said and kissed him on the cheek.

When Remus had it about halfway up the stairs Sirius could feel the lingering eyes of someone. Sirius turned around to find Harry and his gaze immediately softened at the frighted boy's face.
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Harry had followed Sirius and Remus but waited for the right moment to talk to his Godfather not wanting to bother Remus with it too.

When he saw his Godfather turn around and find him with his gaze of sympathy he walked towards Sirius like he was on a mission.

"Can I talk to you, Sirius?" Harry said with pleading eyes.

"Of course you can, Harry, you don't have to ask" Sirius said softly.

Being in his Godfather presents made Harry feel safe, feel like he could tell him anything because he knew that he would understand.

Without hesitation Harry told Sirius every detail about his nightmare and left nothing out.

"Did you tell Dumboledore this?" Sirius asked.

"Yes" said Harry a little impatiently "But he didn't tell me what it means, he doest tell me anything anymore....."

"Im sure he would have said if it was something to worry about"

"Sirius-I....." Harry took a deep shaky breath "I....I think i'm going mad....just before we left with the portkey... my scar hurt and when I looked at Dumbledore.. I -something inside of me wanted to attack him-"

"Harry I'm sure it was just an aftermath vision,that's all"  Sirius said in reasurense.

"No it wasnt that" Harry said shaking his head "Its like something rose up inside me, like i was still the snake-"

"Harry" said Sirius putting a hand on Harry's shoulder "You need sleep; you're in shock and you're blaming something on yourself that you only witnessed. Were lucky you did though because without it Aurthur might just be dead."

"But-I....." Harry couldn't find the words to say.

"Please Harry get some rest" Siriuis said, giving Harry a slight squeeze on the shoulder and leaving for the kitchen.

Harry wanted to tell Sirius that he didn't feel safe sleeping, that he was scared what had happened would happen again. Harry knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again cause he would keep himself up worrying too much. And he couldn't face the like of Mr.Weasley after what had just happened.
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Harry had returned from the hospital trip that he didn't not enjoy at all. Well seeing that Mr.Weasley was ok was a relief but he just felt very uncomfortable there. The Weasleys had gone back home now and Harry was back at Grimmauld place with Sirius and Remus.

"Are you alright Harry?" Remus asked as Harry walked past him to go upstairs.

Harry just nodded wanting to get away from talking to anyone not wanting to answer their questions. He quickly walked upstairs to his room and shut the door behind him.

"Remus," Sirius said, but Remus didn't asner he was still staring at Harry's closed door with concern.

"Remus?" Sirius said again wondering why he isn't answering him.

Sirius walked around the corner to find Remus looking up the stairs "Was that Harry that just came in"

"Yeah," Remus said, turning to look at Sirius. "But i don't think we should bother him, he looks like he could use some rest."

"Well I guess i will check on him later then" Sirius said froning his eyebrows.
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Harry was sitting on his bed looking at a photo of his parents as they moved around the picture and waved at him like they knew he was there. But even there happiness couldn't bring him joy after all the one person that kept taunting him was the one person who kept making his life a living hell.

Harry thought back to what Sirius had told him before the break, that Voldermort was searching for something... something he didn't have before. A weapon and he Harry was that weapon Harry thought of himself. He was putting everyone in danger. He didn't just think that he knew that,he kept telling himself that.

What would he do without Sirius and Remus and all his friends, He thought to himself.

Harry spent so much time drowning himself in his thoughts and worries that he didn't realize that his eyes were getting heavy. And when he did he couldn't find the strength to keep them open any longer, his will power giving out. His tiredness was catching up with him the one thing that he had been trying to avoid all day........sleep.
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I know it's been a while I've been caught up in life and stuff. But next chapter will come sooner than this one did and will prolly be longer. Please don't be disappointed with me I know it took kinda log but hey finally found some motivation go team.
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