Chapter 19

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Hands.

Hands.

Hands.

That's all he feels.

That, and the stinging on his back from being hit, lord knows how many times.

It fucking hurts.

The hands hurt.

He can't do this to Gerard.

He tugs on the rope keeping his hands tied together, even though he knows nothing good will come from it.

All that earns him is a slap to the face.

The tears come when they force his legs open again.

"Stop..." He cries as a hand slides up and down his length.

"Shut up, stupid bitch."

He gets slapped again.

Gerard is going to hate him.

He can't do this to his boyfriend.

Gerard won't want him after this.

He's going to go home and then get turned away when Gerard realizes what he did.

He'll be alone again.

He'll be hated by the one person he loves.

He'll be-

"Frank, wake up."

Hands.

Hands are on him again.

Hands.

"Frank."

Hands.

"Stop touching me."

Hands.

"Frankie, come on, wake up," Gerard says, touching Frank's shoulders, trying to shake him awake.

"Wake up," Gerard coaxes, and finally, Frank's eyes open, glazed over with panic.

"He's here?" Frank asks worriedly, looking around. Gerard shakes his head.

"No, baby. It's just me," Gerard says. Frank instantly relaxes, his face falling, and he leans back against the pillow as the tears start falling down his cheeks. Gerard scoots in close to Frank, wrapping an arm around him. Frank leans into his touch, and Gerard holds him, allowing Frank to cry into his bare shoulder.

The night doesn't seem to want to let go of the hold it has on Frank. Gerard told Frank that he only got about an hour of sleep before he had to wake him up. Frank didn't want to go back to sleep, so Gerard is staying up with him.

They're seated now on opposite sides of the bed, staring at each other. They're only about a foot or two apart, the two of them could hold hands right now if they wanted.

Frank declined the offer of going out to the living room to watch a movie and he also declined going to the kitchen to get some food. He said he wanted to tell Gerard what happened, but he sits in front of him, silent in the glow of the orange lava lamp lit in the corner of the room. He's quiet as he has been for the last ten minutes since he said he wanted to talk about it after he finished crying. Gerard doesn't try and force the words out of him, and he patiently waits, sitting across from him. Gerard wants so badly to reach out and hold him, but he refrains.

Frank starts to pick at his nails, and he does so for maybe five more minutes, and then he finally looks back up at Gerard, who's still waiting on him.

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