Stop Me Going Home (REVAMPED)

Chapter 27

Though it was his own choice, being away from Gerard for so long was hard—much harder than he thought it would be

Frank didn't realize how dependent on Gerard he was for emotional support until Gerard was mostly out of the picture.

Frank tried to tell himself that he made the right choice—he wants to think it was a good decision to go and live with Ray and not tell Gerard. Eleven days after he was admitted to the hospital, they let him go, and Ray was the first person he called. Ray came and got him, and after Frank told him that he didn't want Mikey or Gerard to know yet, Ray seemed to accept that, and he brought Frank to his house.

Frank called Mikey on Friday after Mikey got out of school, telling him the situation, and Mikey agreed not to tell Gerard. Everything was fine on Saturday, but then Sunday came along, and Frank made the stupid decision to be in the same room as Ray while he and Mikey were on a call, playing video games together.

He heard Gerard on the other end, almost yelling at Mikey because he had heard his voice. Frank told Ray to hang up, so Ray did.

It wasn't long after that when Gerard called Ray. Frank was still next to him when Gerard called, and he felt so guilty that Ray had to deal with Gerard now yelling over the phone.

When the call ended, Frank started to panic. Ray said that Gerard was going to come over.

"I can't be here!" Frank had cried. Ray pulled him into his arms, hushing him, telling him that it would be okay. After all, they had time. It would be at least an hour before Gerard would show up.

Ray decided to bring Frank to a coffee shop about five minutes from his place, and they sat there together for a while. Ray was getting updates from Mikey, and when they were twenty minutes away, Ray hugged Frank and then left with the promise to be back soon.

Frank was fine for about an hour, but he started getting nervous from being alone. He felt like he was making the baristas uncomfortable, so he got up and left after texting Ray, asking if he could come get him. He began walking down the sidewalk towards a park, and he started walking on a trail around a pond. It was cold outside, but it didn't bother him too much.

It took Ray around twenty more minutes to show up, and by then, Frank had already walked around the pond twice. When he saw Ray's car approach, Frank picked up his pace, and was soon in the passenger side.

"Is he mad at me?" Frank asked.

"He's not mad. He understands now, he just really misses you," Ray told him. That had comforted Frank for the night, but that was before the texts started coming.

Those texts, every single one of them, had caused Frank to cry. He missed Gerard, and it hurt him so much to know Gerard was hurting too. He never had to say it outright, but Frank knew. Frank knew that there were trembling hands and teary eyes between every message, and they never failed to have the same effect on Frank.

Ray only caught him crying over the texts twice, and both times, Frank felt really bad about it. Ray was already dealing with so much, it felt awful to trouble him with something that seemed so small to be upset over.

Gerard had called Frank over and over, and part of Frank wonders if that was just so Gerard could hear the voicemail sound of Frank's voice. He's sure that Gerard knew he wasn't going to answer after the fourth or fifth, but the calls kept coming anyway. Gerard only left a voice message once, and that was that last time he called, but Frank replayed the message over and over again.

"Hey, uh Frank? It's Gerard. I know you're probably sick of me calling so much, and I'm sorry. I won't call anymore after this. I just- I don't know. It's hard. Everything's hard. I don't know what to do.