Stop Me Going Home (REVAMPED)

Chapter 28

When Gerard wakes up, he's alone.

Instantly, there's a hole in his chest, and his stomach sinks as the pain of reality sets in, tears are already threatening to fall.

He tries to shake off the memories of last night, convinced it was only a dream after looking around and seeing no sign of Frank.

No, it had to have been real. Never in his dreams did Frank kiss him with so much passion; it was only ever something he felt when he is sure that he's alive.

And last night—he felt alive for the first time in forever.

He shakes his head as he sits up, feeling cold without any warmth surrounding his now frail body. A quick glance at his clock, he notices it's around ten in the morning.

He's discouraged to get on with the day after waking up by himself, but he wants to go investigate before he accidentally triggers a breakdown if one doesn't even need to happen.

He starts making way towards his closet to throw on his hoodie, and then he's walking down the hallway to decide if last night was real or fake.

When he gets to the kitchen, he sees Ray and Mikey both cooking, and his stomach flutters when he sees Frank sitting down at the island, and they're all talking with each other, not yet noticing that Gerard is there.

Within a few more steps though, Mikey turns around and is the first to notice him.

"Hey, good morning, Gerard, breakfast is almost ready," Mikey says, and his words cause the other boys to turn and look at him.

"Good morning," Ray says with a smile. Gerard smiles back as Ray and Mikey turn back around to continue cooking, and his attention turns to Frank, who's watching him. He looks almost as if he's afraid to speak, and Gerard is sure that he's afraid to approach him.

Last night comes flooding back, and Gerard remembers all the kissing. So much kissing, and it felt so good, it nearly brings a blush to his cheeks just thinking about it.

He wonders if Frank doesn't feel the same about it, and that's what keeps him from taking any steps toward him, feeling more comfortable leaning against the wall as their eyes burn holes into each other. Gerard stands there for a moment, not sure what to do.

After long enough, he doesn't have to make that decision, as Mikey makes it for him.

"Food's done, come sit at the table," Mikey says. Gerard watches as Frank is the first to get up, then Ray, and after that, Mikey finally sits down, leaving only one chair left, which Gerard sits down on. He sits down next to Frank, go figure.

Gerard listens as Ray and Mikey and Frank all talk. He stays silent, watching them all add food to their plates, he doesn't move a muscle. After a minute or two, everyone has begun to eat—except for Gerard.

Mikey looks at Gerard for a second, clearly questioning him with his eyes, and Gerard looks down at his plate, feeling embarrassed, but he doesn't move to get any food, and Mikey doesn't comment on it. Instead, he allows him to keep his head down and begin to dissociate.

He doesn't realize how long he's stared at his lap for, and he doesn't know the scenery around him changed until he feels a hand rubbing his shoulder, pulling him out of his daze.

"Hey, are you with me?" A voice asks. Gerard blinks a few times, lifting his head up. He winces at the soreness in his neck from having hung his head for god knows how long.

"Yeah, sorry," Gerard says. He doesn't know what he's apologizing for. A chair pulls out next to him, and as the person sits down, Gerard notices that it's Frank.