Stop Me Going Home (REVAMPED)

Chapter 25

One month later

This is the new normal. Gerard was forced to adjust to it, and as much as he hates it, there's absolutely nothing he can do about it. That's the worst part about it. Being subjected to get used to a routine that you never wanted to adjust to. He didn't want this. He wants his old life back so bad, but no matter what he does, he can't get it back. He's lost every ounce of hope he once had a while ago.

Now, he's a zombie, living day to day, trying to not feel so dead. Trying to not feel so empty. Trying to fill a hole the size of a grave, which is only getting deeper, and the shovel was taken away, now there's dirt under his fingernails.

It's all so wrong. He's entered a depression, but he doesn't intend to do anything about it. He knows that he won't get better unless what was once his returns, or if he dies. He doesn't want to die, not really. He wouldn't care if a tragedy happened and he wound up dead, but he wouldn't ever try taking himself out. No, instead, he'll continue on like this, silent and cold, until he dies when he's older, or until something tragic happens. At this rate, he isn't sure what'll come first.

This is his life now.

Wake up.

"Is that Frank?"

"No, Gerard, it's not-,"

"Mikey, I can hear him. Frank?!"

"Ray, hang up."

Mikey's screen goes dark. Gerard looks at Mikey accusingly.

"That was Frank! I heard him! How were you talking to him?!"

"Gerard, I wasn't-,"

"Mikey, I could hear him! Don't lie to me!" Mikey sighs.

"Look, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but he didn't want you to know," Mikey says. Gerard shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes.

"How long were you planning on keeping this a secret, huh? How long has he been out?"

"Since Wednesday, but-,"

"Wednesday?! You let me cry my fucking heart out all week and he's been out since fucking WEDNESDAY?!"

"Gerard, I'm sorry! I wanted to tell you, I swear!"

"Where is he? Why isn't he here?!"

"Gerard, just calm down for a minute, please! Let me explain!" Gerard glares at his brother.

"Fuck it. I'm calling Ray. Thanks for fucking nothing."

Go to school.

"Hello?"

"Ray, what the hell?!"

"Gerard, I wanted to tell you-,"

"Save it. Is he with you? Put him on the phone. I want to talk to him."

"He doesn't want to talk."

"I don't care. Put him on the phone."

"Gerard, he doesn't want to talk."

"Why not?"

"He's dealing with stuff right now, and he said it's too much to keep you in on it right now. He'll talk when he's ready."

"I'm gonna come over if you don't put him on the phone."

"No, you're not."

"I will."