Boys Don't Cry

Rachel

[This is what I will consider to be the last chapter of this, HOWEVER, I will still take suggestions. How will this work? This chapter will ALWAYS be at the end, and future chapters will be stuck in the middle.

Why is this the last chapter? This is how it all began.]

The timer rang and she snatched the plastic stick off of the counter.

Two. Pink. Lines.

“I'm pregnant.”

Putting it down again, she put her head in her hands and ran her fingers through her wavy hair. Dark brown tendrils of it ticking her nose. She thought heavily about crying, but little else.

After a month of sleepless nights, weighing the options, and morning sickness, she found herself at the clinic. Across from her in the waiting room were a teenage couple- the girl was visibly pregnant. They talked reassuringly to each other about how this was best. And, they might have been right. They couldn't have been more than seventeen a piece.

She was 28. single, and financially secure. She had also always wanted to be a mother.

“It's as good of a time as ever,” she thought to herself, and felt an intoxicating sense of joy. Marching back up to the desk, she looked the attendant square in the eye and said, "We're going home. I want this baby."

Irritated, the woman replied, "See you again next week."

"I WANT this baby. I swear, I'm never coming NEAR here again."

The doctor confirmed her suspicions when she went in for a professional opinion and she set out to tell her family. Buzzes of “Rachel's pregnant now.” rang through the boughs of the family tree as spring lolled around bringing dewey rain through the town. They didn't quite approve, but her mother was excited to be a grandmother after all these years. Her two brothers didn't want kids, and one was gay, eliminating the option whatsoever. The child she was carrying would be absolutely fatherless, it was the product of a clumsy late-night hookup with an international businessman. Rachel couldn't even quite remember his name... Hiroko? Hisoka? Hikaru?

In the summer, she found out that it was a boy she was carrying, and began to dress him in pretty sundress patterns as he pushed her out of her other clothes slowly. Pants were a problem, but she didn't mind. The sun kissed him and she felt him become warm. He went still for a few days when his grandmother died- it worried the doctors that Rachel had to undergo such a stressful time at an already precarious period, but gave her a reassuring tap from the inside at the funeral service. She still walked the streets with him in confidence, and reaching out to touch him at least twice an hour.

As the leaves turned, she began to question his nomenclature as she built his yellow crib.

“You're lucky I love you so much...”

It was late to do both things, but she still couldn’t decide on a name easily. Matthew? Mark? Leilel? Something classic. She'll put it off until he was born, she told herself. Setting the crib up on all fours, she felt a surge of excitement: he'll sleep in there soon. It passed, and she directed her attention on the IKEA dresser she bought. Something Lawliet's nursery was coming together.

She knew the due date was at the beginning of November, but was surprised when she found herself doubled over as her body rejected him in the taxi cab. He stayed in for the ride, but she found herself in ever-growing agony as she was taken into the maternity ward. Her sister-in-law felt sorry for her and came to sit with her as well as Ben and his partner. The in-laws felt more compassion than her own siblings, but she was happy all the same. Ben was a very bitter (gay) man, and she and Thomas had never been close.