Boys Don't Cry

Backup

Everything had started out fine.

His name was printed on a permanent file, and he was scheduled to be one of the first in line to success L if and when casualty will strike.

He made a friend, the first in line.

Absolute and Backup.

There were also four others being investigated to become C, D, E, and F.

The reason why L needed people behind him was his financial benefit to the house, and of course his dangerous little hobby. His success in global stock trading secured the orphanage's budget for ten years, possibly more. L was becoming silently powerful internationally; his presence was a quiet and subtle one, but his absence would be extremely obvious to those who knew what to look for. It was best not to frighten the scholarly, then the public.

That was the job description.

A and B were happy young playmates, however both melancholy, not unlike other wards.

I feel sorry about what happened to the boys. Not because they didn't have any joys- oh, they did-, but because of how it all fell into place.

A was never very confident. He was shy, suffered from quite a few anxieties, but wasn't totally gone. B was quiet and studious, playing games in his free time. His grinning face would light up with joy, and it would spread into A.

I noticed after puberty, B looked similar to L. Dark eyes, fair skin, and a similar jawline, but his cheeks were healthfully fleshed, eyes bright and alert, and his hair clean and combed. L didn't ever cared for such cosmetic things until they became physically uncomfortable, therefore not cosmetic. He wouldn't allow himself to go into disrepair, but he doesn't hold himself to a common public image of "normal" physical appearance.

A stagnated ever so slightly, unchanging from boyhood. It was probably a sign.

He was hiding.

He hung himself in the showers near the elder boy's wing after lights out. A custodian found him during checks.

We didn't wake B.

The next morning, we called him in and told him. It was his birthday. I consider the change from Backup to Beyond Birthday was in reference to the change he brought upon himself after that day.

He began to take L's clothes from the laundry, which perturbed L greatly that his clothes were suddenly disappearing by the pair. When the older boys would go out, he bought hair dye to further darken his brown hair, and grew it out to an odd length. It would curl into his face, hiding his ears and the edges of his jaw. Steadily, female staff began to notice their cosmetics disappearing.

I saw him do it once before he left. It was an incident when L wasn't with me. I have a life outside of him, I tell myself. I am admittedly overprotective- he's just so... unsettling. I'd rather cater to him myself than pay a stranger. I don't trust either of them.

He was walking towards me from one end of the hall, and didn't acknowledge me as I walked past. L was sitting in the den, the room I was originally headed towards. It was then that I realized what B was accomplishing. When confronted, L wanted to do nothing about it.

I couldn't tell you why he did it, I never asked, which may have been my primary mistake. I understood the possible appeals, but not the mental execution. I like to believe that B.B. was sick. Incurably so.

It was only until the murders in Los Angeles, California, USA that L registered the consequences of B.B.