Distraction

31.

To be honest I was getting tired of constantly talking. It wasn't making me feel any better. I was just getting more confused.

The talks we would have after I had nightmare always made me say hat i need help and comfort from Micheal. But if we were to talk after I did something wrong I would be scared and didn't want to be near him.

Today's talk was a neutral ground and that confused me even more because what feelings would come up now?

"Shall we sit outside to talk? The weather is good enough for it." Micheal questioned softly after we entered the house together.

I was about to say yes but the memory of the last talk with my dad rushed trough my mind. "No i think the couch is better."

"We won't talk for long right?" I hesitantly asked as we sat down.

"Not if we need to." He said not really putting my mind at ease.

He sighed and looked down at his hands. "I think it's only fair of me to explain your mother's situation."

I nodded eagerly.

"After your mother's accident we did multiple test to make sure we had treated every injury she may have had. We found out that she has heart condition, arrhythmias to be specific."

I gave him a confused look. He smiled at that and continued to explain what that lovely name meant.

"It's means your mom has an irregular heartbeart due to the fact that the electrical signals that coordinate heartbeats are not working correctly. Most of the time this isn't such a big deal, with the right mediation the consequences are minor. But that's not the case with your mom, she's been suffering from this condition untreated for quite some time."

He paused to make sure I was still understanding everything he said. I gave him a small hum, telling him to continue.

"Right now we are giving her medication  and exercises. But too much stress or anything else that could cause her heart rate to speed up can inflict serious damage on her heart. Which will cause strokes or even a heart attack."

"So she's basically a ticking bomb." I mubleed as i took in everything he had said.

"Yeah I guess you could say that."

I remained quiet, was i really that dangerous to my mom?

Micheal genlty layer  his hand on my shoulder. "This is not something you can control or should feel guilty for. Your mom's condition can still be controlled with the medication. She just needs to take them for a longer time for them to work properly."

"What about her others injuries?"

He signed. "Her legs are still paralyzed but the physical therapy is slowly strengthening her muscles so maybe one day she'll be able to walk again. But she probably will never have feeling in her legs again."

Him saying that made me feel for my mother. She has already been trough so much in her life and I again had failed to protect her.

"And mentally?" I asked, unsure if I had the right to ask a question like that.

"She's frustrated with herself that she's not allowed to leave the hospital or see you more. But besides that she's doing alright."

I hummed in understanding.

For me the conversation was finished and I was about to stand up but Micheal asked me another question.

"I've been meaning to ask you, last night you came back saying that it wasn't up to you to tell where you were.What did you mean by that?"