Distraction

35.

I trew the cigarette but out of the window and stood up. I only had one pack left which was stressing me out. All the things that made me feel less stressed were slowly being taken away and that started to infuriate me.

This thought made me walk to my dresser to find my pain meds. The drawer was completely empty, even my vitamins and sleeping were gone.

I frantically started to open every drawer and looked on the ground.

"Fuck..fuck." I mumbled to myself as I kept searching.

"What are you doing?" Micheal suddenly spoke form the doorway.

I immediately shot up, hitting my head on the open drawer in the process.

"I'm sorry I should've knocked." Micheal immediately said as he walked towards me.

"No it's fine." I said with my hand on my head, already feeling a headache start.

"Let me see." Michael spoke calmy.

I knew for a fact that wasn't necessary but his doctor instinct had kicked so I wasn't going to stop him.

"You guys took my meds didn't you?" I asked as I felt him touch my head.

He sighed and backed away a little. "Be honest with me, how much of these pills were you taking on a daily?"

I shrugged, I didn't keep count. That was the problem.

"Last night when we drew your blood we found hight traces of them in your blood. Much more than there should be and that concerned us."

"Didn't mean you had the right to take them away." I mumbled.

"Yes we did Riley. The sleeping and pain meds you use are not that strong but the way you're taking them is harmful."

I put my hand up, signaling to him that he needed to help me up. Sitting on the floor was getting awkward while he was hovering over me.

He lifted me up and we both sat down on my bed. "I get it, you don't want to talk about anything but I just need some basic info right now."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure you do."

"We know you try to a lot of things to help you feel better. We allso know that all those things aren't good for you. What we do not know is how bad you're actually letting your bad habits destroy you."

This didn't sound like basic info to me. He really just found an excuse to make me feel bad about my decisions.

"What is it exactly that you want me to say?" I said in an annoyed tone. I didnt own him shit, he didnt need to know anything.

"I want to know what you do to keep yourself distracted everytime you encounter a bad memory or a feeling that you don't understand."

I had a strong feeling that he already knew what those were but of course he wanted to hear it from me personally.

"You already know. You just want the satisfaction of me saying it outloud." I said trough gritted teeth.

"I just want to know so I can help you Riley. We are not the bad guys here. I am not the bad guy here."

"No one is ever the bad guy. That doesn't mean they won't do bad things." I said to Micheal as I looked into his eyes with a treating look.

"I am not planning on doing anything bad Riley. I am here to help you." Micheal spoke with a clear voice as he kept a straight face.

"You're not helping me. All you do is take things away. Sometimes I wish you had just left me in that fucking basement. At least I still had my own life when I lived with my dad. I didn't have to deal with some control freak taking away my freedom." I spoke quickly without any hesitation. He didn't deserve to hear this but I needed to get it off my chest.