ifhy, | vinnie hacker

18- oh!!

Rhiannon

Vin

Im on the way over, do you need anything?

No thanks, be safe. ily 

Vin 

ily more <3

A few minutes later, Vinnie still hadn't gotten here yet. So, I decided to go on the balcony and smoke while I waited.  About ten minutes later, Vinnie pulled in the driveway. I smiled when I saw his car come to a stop next to mine, and his curly blonde hair making an entrance before anything else. He made eye contact with me, made a face and then began walking up to the door. He finally made it into my room, and slid open the balcony door, poking his head out, looking for a seat and then deciding on the one right next to me. I patted it, taking the last hit from my blunt and then putting the roach in the ashtray. He looked at me. "Is this an everyday thing?" he asked. "yeah, It helps with my anxiety." I said. "I'm sorry." he said. "Why are you sorry?" I asked. 

"because, you weren't like this before we broke up. Which means something triggered his anxiety and stuff, aka our breakup. Therefore it's my fault you're sitting here ruining yourself, just like your mom." he said, mumbling the last part. "you know what, you're not my boyfriend right now, you can't tell me what I can and can't do. This is helping me stay alive right now, and you're gonna sit here and compare me to my mother? fuck you." I scoffed. "yeah I took that too far, im sorry. our whole truce was to communicate more, I was just trying to make sure im not holding anything back. So now you know how I feel about it, so you can do what you want with that information." he said. "yeah, you really did take that too far. That was low, really low. I appreciate you being honest with me, but you didn't have to rub it in my face that my mother was an addict and that I could possibly turn out just like her. Im trying not to, at this point im just trying to stay alive." I said. "why are you struggling to stay alive so bad?" he asked. "because you accused me of being something I wasn't. a cheater, and no matter what you wouldn't let that go, I was forced to find new friends, and new ways of life because you were my daily routine. you were everything to me, and all of a sudden you were gone. I had to completely change my life without you in it, and that was the first time id done that. I didn't have any of my core people, my moms gone, Jason left, and so did you. oh, and by the way Jason came back." I said. He glared at me. "I thought you blocked him?" he asked. "apparently he got a new number, so he was able to text me. Nothings happened. We talked on the phone once, and he's sent me a few you up texts. I haven't met up with him or anything." I said. "good, he knows better." he said. 

_____

"what do you want for dinner?" Vinnie asked. It's been a few hours since our discussion on the balcony, and we were cuddling watching gossip girl. "no idea, maybe mcdonalds." I asked. "Sounds good to me, ill door dash it here, because I don't wanna move. " he said. I rolled over where my face was in his chest, his arms on either side of my body holding his phone. "It'll be here in 30 minutes." he said. He put his phone down and started running his fingers through my hair. "that feels so good." I said. "I know you love it... I missed this. I missed you a lot." he said. "I missed you too vinnie, and im gonna try and quit smoking but I'm gonna need some help I think. I can't do it on my own." I said. "I'll help you in anyway that I can baby." he said. "thank you." I said. 

we continued watching the show until his phone went off. signaling that our door dash was here. He moved and I groaned at the cold sheets that touched my body when his got up. He came back in with a mcdonalds bag and two cups. He put it down on the nightstand, crawled on the bed and started pulling things out of the bed. I ate as much as I could before putting my trash in the empty bag. A few minutes later I went to the bathroom. Sticking my fingers down my throat and as quietly as possible threw up the food I had just eaten. I flushed the toilet quickly,  brushed my teeth and took my makeup off to make it seem like that's what I was doing the whole time. 

When I came back out, Vinnie was looking at me. "you're so beautiful." he said. I smiled, if only he knew what I was going through in my own head. "thank you baby." I said. "Look I think I'm about to leave for the night, I would stay but we have a meeting in a coupe hours, and then I promised kio i'd stream with him." he said. "that's okay, maybe we can spend the night tomorrow. I can come to you?" I asked. "sounds perfect. I'll text you when I get back." he said. he stood up from the bed, putting on his vans, and grabbing his things.  I walked over to him, and wrapped my arms around him, him doing the same. "I love you, please be careful." I said. "I will, I love you too. i'll see you tomorrow." he said. I smiled, he bent down and kissed me before walking out the door. 

I walked back into my bathroom, taking one last look at myself in the mirror, before talking my pills for the night. I started to walk back to my bed to go to sleep, but I felt sick again. I brushed it off and crawled into bed. I think I was asleep for a couple hours, when I woke up in the middle of the night. Sweating and completely nauseous. My phone lit up, a text from Addison and Vinnie. I'd just play it off like I was asleep, no need to text back at 3 am. I walked to the bathroom and sat down in front of the toilet, the vomit coming out of me like nothing before. I laid back against the shower door and sighed. 

I guess taking that medicine on an empty stomach wasn't the best idea.