ifhy, | vinnie hacker

21- TW: TALK OF ED & DRUGS

Rhiannon

When I woke up the next morning, I felt horrible. my body felt tired, and I thought maybe it was because I did a lot yesterday. then I remembered exactly what I did yesterday and how that's probably the real reason why i'm so exhausted physically. I could feel Vinnie's hands around my waist and in that moment I felt so safe again. I felt like it was back to normal again, I had my old life back and that really what made me the happiest. I rolled out of vinnie's grasp and walked into the bathroom. I looked like shit, and with that I decided on a shower. I turned on the water, sticking my hand under the shower head and feeling until the temperature was just right. 

I walked to the sink, brushed my teeth and took of my necklace that I wear 24/7. I slipped my clothes off, and slowing stepped into the shower, feeling the hot water hit my chest. it felt so good, and for once I remember what the water feels like. It's been so long since I remembered what anything felt like, I was numb to everything internally and externally. The drugs made my days a blur. I ran my hands through my hair, spinning around to where the hot water was hitting me right on the head. I lathered the shampoo into my hands, before spreading it into my hair, wrapping my hair onto of my head and beginning to wash my body with my lufa. I lathered the soap on my legs next shaving them since it had been a while since that happened. I shaved everything else, rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and quickly rubbed conditioner onto the ends of my hair. I heard Vinnie yelling my name, "Rhiannon?!" he asked. "im in the shower!" I yelled back. "Rhiannon?!" he asked again. I repeated myself, this time louder than the first. He opened up the bathroom door, sticking his head in. "can I come in? sorry I couldn't hear you very well. I wasn't sure where you went, I was worried." he said. "you can come in. im almost done." I said. "how do you feel?" he asked, he took his toothbrush that stayed in my toothbrush holder, and applied some toothpaste to it, before running it under the water. "I feel not so good, just tired. I'll probably sleep again later, I just felt gross and wanted a shower." I said. I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair, and turned off the water. "I understand that." he said. he finished brushing his teeth, as I pulled back the towel off the top of the shower door wrapping it around my body. I opened the glass door, and stepped out onto the rug in front of my toilet. It was dirty and needed to be washed after yesterday's events. "you look a lot better today." he said smiling kissing my lips softly. "yeah id hope so." I replied. I picked the rug up off the ground and put it in the corner of my bedroom as I made my way out of the bathroom to go grab some clothes. 

I pulled open my dress drawers, pulling out a pair of nike sweat shorts, and a huge baggy sweatshirt. I threw it on quickly as Vinnie put on a new outfit, it consisted of grey sweatpants and a hoodie also. we were a very lazy couple. We went out on the balcony and sat in the chairs with the nice breeze blowing. "I wanna tell you something, that I'm sure you already know. I just need to say it." he said. "go ahead." I said. I pulled my knees to my chest and held them to me.

  "I want you to know that you can tell me anything, even if we are in a rocky place...there wasn't a second I stopped thinking about you. you're my best friend and the love of my life, I never want you to think you're going through something alone. " he said.  I looked at him. "I have an eating disorder Vinnie. it started when you left, and I don't want you to think it was all your doing, because it's mine. It's just the only thing keeping me happy at the moment, but now I've seen what it's done to me and I don't want to do that to you or Addison or myself for that matter. I want to get better and I want you to help me if you're willing." I said a tear falling from my eye. "ill always help you. but we also gotta get past this drug thing because that scares the shit outta me Rhiannon. I don't want to see you go down like your mom. it's not for you, you have so much ahead of you. you're going to do great things, we're gonna get married one day, and have a family like we've talked about. I promise to keep you happy as long as you'll let me." he said. "I promise vin. I have stuff in the house im ready to get rid of, we can flush the pills and the weed I don't want that shit anymore it's not worth it." I said. "thank you, no it's not Rhiannon. I really hope you mean that." he said. "I know it's going to be hard but I want to do it, and Im going to have bad days I know that, but I want to do it with you so we can get this behind us." I said. "let's go get rid of everything. also you're break from social media sounds fantastic and I need to do one of those also." he said. "Do it, it's been very nice so far." I said. 

we walked into my room, and I showed him my normal places for my stashes. Night stand, under my side of the bed, in my underwear drawer, inside one of boots in my closet and in an old shampoo bottle under my sink. That was where I hid pills, random weed, and anything else I could get my hands on. We cleaned everything out, flushing everything we could find and breaking any bong, or anything that could be found also. smashing it on the concrete in front of the house only to pick every piece up and throw it away, just so I know I can't go back in there and get it out. 

I looked at vinnie. "I'm doing this all for us." I said. "I know you are, and I appreciate you so much. you're so strong, and we're gonna get through this together." he said. He grabbed me and pulled me close to him, giving me a kiss before just holding me.