ifhy, | vinnie hacker

20- you need help

Vinnie 

when the doctor walked through those doors I don't know why but it felt like I was living deja vu, and then it hit me. This is exactly how it felt when Rhiannon's mom died. I was competing for her attention and waiting around in a hospital waiting room just like I am now. I've lived this exact same moment before. 

I got in my own head and couldn't even hear the words that the doctor was saying to us right now.  "has she always had a history with drugs?" he asked. this was the only sentence I heard. "no" I mumbled. "what was that?" he asked. "she doesn't have a history with drugs. her mom overdosed a couple years ago, so she swore to never do that to herself." I said, not making eye contact with him. "then maybe you guys can go in and speak with her when she wakes up, i'll come back out." he said. "thank you" chase said. I stood up from the chair I was sitting in, Addison reaching for my arm. "where are you going?" she asked. "I need some air again. I can't do this." I said, tears forming in the bottom of my eyes. "I'll come with you. I could use some air too." she said. "ill text you if the doctor comes back out." chase said. "yeah im sure" I mumbled. Addison glared at me. 

we got to the elevator and the doors opened. Addison taking the lead and walking into the small levitating cube, I stood in the opposite corner from her with my head against the wall, listening to the clicking of the pulley's lowering us to the bottom floor, letting the tears fall from my eyes. "she's gonna be okay Vinnie." she said. "no I don't think she is." I said, "this is going to last a while, she's not going to just wake up and the same old Rhiannon she used to be." I said, feeling the lump in my throat start to swell and the tears falling down my cheeks fall more rapidly. "I know vinnie, but we are going to help her." she said. "you guys don't understand, I expected this when her mom died, I never thought I'd be reliving that exact same moment again, except this time it's her. losing her would be the worst thing that's ever happened to me." I said. "I wasn't even thinking about you being there when her mom died." she said. she grabbed my hand, not in a flirty way but just to comfort me. "I should've stayed with her last night." I said. There was a ding and the doors started to open, revealing the lobby of this hospital and two double doors leading to the emergency unloading zone. We walked through those double doors, and stood to the side. 

When we got stopped, Addison wrapped her arms around me embracing me in a hug. When she did that my heart dropped and my emotions poured out of me. sobbing into her shoulder, I wrapped my arms around her also, I felt her body start to shake as I realized she was crying too. "I don't understand, how did chase not hear any of this happening?" she asked. "I don't know. why haven't I realized something was wrong with her? I should've noticed that she's skin and bones basically. it's an eating disorder mixed with drug addiction, that's exactly what this is." I said. "you haven't been around vinnie, you wouldn't have noticed that she had lost weight. I should've I spent every day with her." Addison said. her phone went off, we pulled apart and she looked at it. she gasped. "she's awake." she said. we took off running, didn't even stop for the elevator instead running up the flights of stairs until we reached the 5th floor. 

The doctor opened up door, and I saw her body laying on the bed. her head turned and looked at me. I guess I missed the part where the doctor said she was resting, and that's why she was asleep. I was expecting to see her connected to a bunch of wires, but that' s not what I saw. the doctor closed the door once I walked in, I smiled, but tears were still in my eyes. "hey, how do you feel?" I asked, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed and immediately reaching for her hand. "like shit, they had to pump my stomach, not that there was much in there, they were just making sure I guess." she said. she looked ashamed, she hadn't made much eye contact with me. "I was really worried about you." I mumbled, I played with her fingers. "I know vin, i'm so sorry." she said, tears now falling from her eyes. "I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to be more careful. I also don't want to say it's okay because it's not, but I want you to tell me why this happened so we can fix it." I said. "I know vinnie, it's just a lot, and I don't want you to react the way I know you're going to." she said. "we can talk about this later if you want." I said. "I don't want to talk about it here. I just want to say I'm sorry you're going through this." she said. "me too, and I'm sorry you felt that this was the only thing you could do." I said. "I didn't. I wasn't trying to kill myself. It was a mistake." she said. my eyes looked at her, and we made eye contact. "you weren't?" I asked. "no vinnie, I had just gotten you back. I was happy again." she said. 

everybody had their turn to talk to her, I sat in the waiting room. The doctor finally signed her discharge papers hours after she woke up. it was dark outside by the time we got out of there. it was 2am to be exact. "come on baby, let's go home." I said taking her hand and holding her up a little, she was very wobbly. "I got it" she said, she stumbled a little. "no I don't" she said again, I giggled a little. We finally made it down to Addison's car that she had pulled into the emergency unloading zone, long enough for us to get into the car and then she drove off. 

I held Rhiannon's hand until we got back to the hype house. chase went directly to his room after telling Rhiannon he was glad she was okay. Addison went to sleep because she was tired and me and Rhiannon went to her room. Her bathroom still wasn't 100% cleaned up from earlier and you could smell it. Once Rhiannon got into bed I went into the bathroom and as quickly as possible cleaned up the mess drowning the stench in cleaning supplies. I got back into bed and saw Rhiannon was watching tiktoks. She was in the process of making one by the time I got myself comfortable. she laid on my chest, recording herself and me in the background. "hey just updating you guys on what has happened in the past almost 24 hours. we just got home from the hospital, it's been a crazy day. im going to be taking a couple days off of social media but when im back feeling better ill make a youtube video if you guys have any questions and spreading awareness on a situation I should've spoken on years ago. I love you all byeee" she said. "I'm proud of you, you're very strong." I said. "thank you. I love you" she said. "I love you more, I think it's time you get moved back up to girlfriend status, i'm tired of waiting." I said. she smiled. "I think so too" she said.