ifhy, | vinnie hacker

03- just come home

Vinnie Hacker

I could see on my Apple Watch that Rhiannon was calling me. I couldn't get to the phone in time, and I knew coach wouldn't let me answer anyways.

practice was almost over for the day and we were doing our cool down laps around the track. I got another notification on my watch. a text.

call me when you get done with practice pls, it's an emergency.

oh god. that's the worst text I could've gotten. I sped up to finish my cool down, I asked coach if I could go ahead and leave and that it was an emergency.

He agreed and I ran off to the locker room. I grabbed my phone and called her.

"hey?" she said.  "hey what's going on?" I asked. " mom had a seizure, they couldn't find a pulse when we left my house. im in the ambulance on the way to the hospital now. Jason said he was gonna meet me here, if you don't wanna come up here because of him I understand." she said.

She sniffled and I could hear a bunch of chaos in the background. "no i'm coming. i'll be there as soon as possible. just keep me updated till i get there. I love you rhiannon. Everything's gonna be okay." i said. "i love you too." i said.

she hung up quickly and i gathered my things and ran to my car. i drove to the hospital, i checked rhiannon's location so i knew which hospital to go to.

when i got to the hospital i went to the desk. "how can i help you?" the lady asked. "i'm looking for michelle tate. they should've just brought her in." i said. "you can't see her right now but if you go to the waiting room on the third floor the doctor will come get you soon." she said.

"thank you." i replied and went to the elevator. i went up to the third floor waiting area, and saw rhiannon in the corner. she was staring out the window and her cheeks were tear stained.

i walked up beside her and took a seat. "where's jason?" i asked. "vending machine." she replied not losing focus on whatever she was looking at outside the window.

i nodded. "i'll move over a seat then." i said. she didn't say anything.

rhiannon tate

i looked out the window and tried to focus on the cars passing by. it was all i could think of to try and get my mind off of what was happening.

"where's jason?" vinnie asked sitting down next to me. "vending machine" i replied. "i'll move over a seat then." he said.

no. stay there. please.

jason would be pissed. so i didn't say it.

"hey man" he said to vinnie. vinnie didn't respond. Jason placed a hand on my thigh and tried to pull me closer to him, but i pulled away. "baby please, look at me." he said.

i looked at him, and he pulled my face close for a kiss. i did as he wanted, because i didn't want to cause a scene in the hospital.

i looked at vinnie and he smiled at me. i smiled back. the doctor came out, "rhiannon tate?" he asked. i stood up, "that's me." "hey sweetie. Your mom hasn't regained consciousness since she got here. We've been trying, but we've got her connected to a ventilator right now. you're welcome to come in there, if you want. we are going to see how she does on that, if she remains the same within a couple hours we will ask you if you want to keep her connected or take her off." he said. 

oh god. i have to make this decision. what am i gonna do? she's not gonna be here for graduation, or to see me get married one day. She's not gonna see my kids one day, or see me go to college. what am i supposed to do? how am i supposed to make it to college?

"miss tate? would you like to come back here?" the doctor asked again. "yes, please." i croaked out.

"you can follow me." he led me through the double doors, down the hall until we rounded a corner, and i saw her. laying there with wires and machines hooked up to her. "oh, mom." i said.

i sat down on the chair next to the bed. "please wake up. you've been the best mom i could ever ask for. yes you made some bad decisions but you've always made sure i was taken care of and had everything i ever needed. If you can hear me, just know i love you so much, and i'm so thankful for you. i don't know what i'm gonna do without you, if something happens. mom please wake up I need you, just come home." I cried holding her hand.

She wasn't perfect, and didn't make the best decisions like I said but she got the job done and she always knew how to make me feel better. "if you can't do it anymore, i promise i'll understand but i'll always think of you. i'll love you forever." i said. i squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek, i heard her take a deep breath.

the machine next to her started to beep, and the line went flat. the nurses came running in, and it all became a blur. i wasn't dumb, i knew what was happening. i know that that line meant her heart wasn't beating anymore. i knew that she heard what i said and that she let go.

"code blue, grab the paddles." a nurse said. "she has a DNR." the doctor said walking in. "what? since when?" i asked. "get her out." the nurse yelled.

two nurses grabbed me and tried to drag me out. "no, you can't just let her die, you have to help her. I didn't know of this how did you get her back from before." i yelled. "we didn't know she had it, the paramedics did it before she got here." he said. "no, no help her!" i yelled.

they picked me up and pushed me out the door closing it in front of my face. tears were streaming down my face, i found the closest wall and sat there.

i didn't wanna leave her.

the doctor came out a few minutes later. he looked at me with a somber face. "she's gone miss." he said. "no.." i said, putting my head in my hands. "i'm sorry honey, there's nothing we could do, she had the DNR in place from a few years ago. i'm assuming she knew she was going to do this then." he said.

i looked up, "what do you mean by this?" i asked. "the overdose.. i'm assuming by the way you reacted the nurses never told you?" he said. "no they never told me. she did this to herself? she knew what she was doing?" i asked. how could she?

"miss i'm sorry. if you want me to share some psychiatric resources for you i can." he said. "no i don't need therapy. thank you for the offer though." i said. "well, you can pick up your mothers belongings in the lobby in 20 minutes. we're going to do an autopsy on her since it was considered a suicide, so you'll get a call when you can make arrangements, and if you change your mind on the therapy. you know where i'm at." he said turning around and walking down the hallway.

bastard.