Hamilton One Shots!!

A Lams Free Verse if You Will

I don't really know what this is 

-triggers-

None

----

Day One. 
Forget it all
Back to square one
You're alone
I see you
Writing
Writing
Writing
What are you writing?
Dreams
Nightmares
Love
Gone.

Day two.
Two more things to do
Open 
Close 
Open 
Close
Again you write
I look up
I look down
My paper is not white
Faces stare back
Asking
Daring
Will you do it?

Day three.
Sitting
Staring
Is that eyes?
Two chocolate circles
Time stops
Tick
Tock
Tick 
Tock
Bam
Realization
The moment is gone
The feeling is there
Boom
My heart stops
Crickets
Again alone.

Day 4.
Should I?
No
Yes 
No
Maybe?
Stressing over this test
The science behind emotions
You look up
A rare occurrence
And it happens again
I'm in the right place
Is it the right time?
No
Do I wish it was?
Hell yes.

Day five.
Group project
Maybe.
Crossing my fingers
Hoping
Receiving
AGAIN.
Pairs
Us two
Numbers?
Numbers.

Day six.
A
L
E
X
Alexander.
How did I not know that before?
Your picture is blank
I want to change that
I made you laugh
Twice
Three times
You made me laugh
Four times
Five times
20 times
I lost count.

Day seven.
Lunch?
Picking up courage
Like balls on the ground
Lunch?
Yes.
Yes...
Yes!
You seem to not eat much
Why is that?
Notebooks out
Projector on
If only there was more time.

Day eight.
Buzz
A text from you
I get excited
maybe...
...
Do we have math homework?
Damn.
Yes, pages one and two
Three words I wish I could say
I like you.

Day nine.
It hurts a little bit.
Not just a little bit
Makeup
Cover up
Dream on
You notice nothing
Secretly I wish you did
Closer
Closer
And still
So far away.

Day fourteen.
You aren't there
I'm alone again
You should be here
Takes a long time
Silence
Again
Gone

Day fifteen.
Yes
I counted.
You returned to me
Happy
Sad
Confused
All of the above
The project is over
Are we?

Day thirty.
Library visit
You show me
Each book
Each memory
Each moment
Everything you love
Deeper and deeper
There's still more of you to know
To explore
I want to say
I don't.

Day fifty-two.
Coffee is good
Nip in the air
We decide on hot
Your scarf looks fuzzy
Your hair looks soft
Your eyes look bright
You don't write as much anymore
I still don't know
Me
You
Us
Here.

Day sixty-three.
It's been too long
Too little
Cheeks red
Time wasted
Was it wasted?
I want to ask...
I do
Silence
Hate?
Nothing
Love?
Collision and desperation
Fear
Alone
Together
Everything at once
Why you?
Why Me?
I don't know.

Day sixty-five.
You aren't leaving my head
That moment was long ago
Yet yesterday
Hours
Seconds
Hands intertwined
Or were they?
Nothing is real anymore
Magic
Memory fading
You haven't called
It's 7:02.

Day seventy.
Taken
I'm taken!
By you
Only you
That's the problem
A secret
Does it have to be a secret?
Yes
No argument.

Day one hundred and seven.
Bliss
And then destruction
he knows
I'm down on my knees
He looks at me
Disgust
Hatred
Words
Impact
Black.

Day one hundred and nine.
Beep
Beep
Beep
"JOHN!"
I thought I was gone
Everything
Blurred lines
Out of focus
But you
You
Clear as day
I'm not ok.

Day one hundred and thirteen.
Kicked out
Surprise?
Not exactly
You're still there
You're next to me
Yet there's isolation
Alone.

Day one hundred and twenty.
The scars heal
Not the emotional ones
Fidgeting
Waiting
Praying
I never did that before
You're still here
Writing
Again
I know what you're writing now.

Day one hundred and thirty-six.
Smiles return
I'm free
Finally free
After the shock
You kiss me slow
Is it time?
Touching
Feeling
Love
You
Me
Beauty.

Day one hundred and ninety-one.
There's no one else
Hands in hair
Fingertips touching
Dreams
Nightmares
Gone?
No.
You pull away
suddenly
Gone?
Yes.

Day two hundred.
What's wrong?
Nothing
Everything
Words
Hate?
Nothing
Love?
Hesitation
It breaks me
I thought...

Day two hundred and thirty.
A month
You call again
Hey
No
Listen-
No
There's no mending this
Glue
Tape
Time
you used to be mine.

Day two hundred and fifty-four.
It's unimportant
I'm sorry
Please talk to me
Try and understand
Friends?
whatever.

Day three hundred seventy-five.
Oh my gosh
You're in love?
You've found someone new?
Good
For
You
I can do that
I can move on
I'm just lying to myself.

Day three hundred and-
I don't care anymore.
There's no point in counting
Hate?
No
Love?
Platonic
The feeling's not going to end
Why not?
Because we are still just friends.