Taking back the Moon

Chapter Forty-Five

I hate you.
But who are you?
Are you me?
Are you, you?
There's this impenetrable force between me and my emotions; ironic only because you penetrated me so easily despite my, at the time, best efforts.
I should have told you "no" louder. I should have screamed. I should have fought you.
Goodness, what I would give now for the opportunity to get under your skin - see you now - anger you until all that's left is for me to win.
See you, spit venomous words at you until you dare to argue, spit more venom as you turn red in the face from pure anger - truth thrown at you. And what would you do if there was an audience?
How good at lying are you to find your way out of it?
What would you say? What would I?
Will anyone ever know that you are the bad guy?
I would love to make you so angry that you touch me - I don't care how; to beat me up, shut me up, rape me again?
I'd love a second chance to fight you by tongue or by hand.
Watch as I get my licks in.
Regardless of how badly you could try to injure me, I have an army behind me.
Tell me, from beneath you'd fatigues that merely camouflage your demons, will your army protect you?
Or is that where you learned to conquer, taking no and camouflaging it as yes?
I am not your fucking fatigues, and I'm tired of you using my skin to hide in.
Out, out, out, says the blood that bubbles from the cut meant to rid me of you.
Seven years to a new body; that just won't do.
Come at me, whisper to me, touch me, take one step.
I'm ready to have my ass kicked by you if it means I finally punch you in your serial face and out you for the hideous failure of a man that you are.
How sad is it that a man of your self proclaimed stature couldn't talk an overweight, zero confidence girl into sex?
Nah, too hard.
Obviously.
So, please.
You had yours, now let me have mine.
Name your space.
Name your date.
Name your time.

***A/N***
Alexander Wright, Texas resident. I promised your (then girlfriend) at the time that I wouldn't interfere with her trying to move on with you after you got her pregnant before raping me. You and I weren't even fucking dating, dude. I wanted answers. She asked me to back off. Because I'm a decent human being, knowing that she knows you raped me, or believed you when I'm sure you said you didn't, I backed off. I told her despite what you did to me, I would not put her through hell for justice for myself. I've kept my word. I'm still keeping it. For her. Never you.
If somehow you were to ever see this: I fucking dare you.