Calamity

Checking In

‼️TW: TALK OF SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION‼️

Spencer's POV
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A week after y/n's release, Spencer slowly walks through the glass doors of the BAU. As he steps inside he's looking at the floor, his mind racing with thoughts of y/n. She's in the safe room they've been living in right now watching Fresh Prince. Spencer offered for them to go back to the apartment, but y/n refused and he understands why. Cecilia and her shared a lot of memories in that apartment so she's not ready to back. But she still isn't talking, she isn't eating a lot, she can barely look at him. She won't even let him touch her. Penelope is the first to notice him walk in.

"My sweet baby boy wonder, please tell me she's doing better." She says as she rushes towards him. The rest of the team- minus Emily, who isn't here today- gathers around him.

"She's not doing great." He says. "She um... she's having a really hard time." He says trying not to cry. JJ can tell and she walks closer to him.

"Ok guys, I think we can check in on her later." She says. She grabs Spencer's shoulder and leads him away. "Let's talk, me and you." She says to him. They walk out the big glass doors and towards another empty room. It's an old, unused office just a few doors down from the BAU. JJ turns on the lights and motions for Spencer to sit down. When he does she sits next to him and gets in a comfortable position.

"Tell me the truth. What's going on?" She asks.

It's like those words are Spencer's trigger. He feels his eyes burn and tears run down his face. He's not sobbing, but he's crying a pretty good amount.

"Just y/n. She's not okay and I... I don't know what to do." He says diverting eye contact. "She won't talk to me, she always wants to be alone, she doesn't eat. JJ she won't even let me touch her."

"Those are typical side effects with someone who's going through a huge loss, you know that. You've seen it a hundred times before." Says JJ.

"I know I have. But it's different with her." Says Spencer as he wipes away tears. "Usually when it's a good friend or a victim I do my best to find out what's wrong and fix it. But knowing y/n she won't let me, she's too stubborn. And the more I ignore it the more I know she's hurting all alone."

"You're not ignoring it Spence. You're letting her articulate her feelings on her own, it takes time."

"But what if she's not on that stage?" He asks, looking up at her. She furrows her eyebrows a little in confusion.

"What, you mean like the stages of grief? Well she just got to depression a week ago, I would be surprised if she moved to acceptance so soon." She says.

"No, that's not what I mean." He says. "The fourth stage is broken into two different types of depression. The kind where you mourn the loss of your loved one and for some there can be a guilt type. What if y/n feels guilty? There are so many things that could be going through her head."

"Why don't you think like a profiler? Use her behavior to figure out what could be going on."

"It feels wrong profiling her. It's not right." He Says.

"If you don't do this, you'll just drive yourself crazy with the what if's of her emotional state. I'll even help you, this can be good." Says JJ. Spencer thinks about it for a second and eventually nods. If y/n won't talk to him he just needs to figure out what's going on for himself so he can help her. He can't bare to see her like this anymore.

"Ok, let's start with the theory that she feels guilty. Why do you think that?" Asks JJ.

"Well she had to watch a video of Cecilia dying. She was at the restaurant to save her, knowing y/n that had to have made her feel like it was her fault to some degree." Answers Spencer.