Classroom of the Elite

Epilogue

I am angry. But I don't know with whom I am angry. Was I angry at Ayanokoji-kun for helping me without me even asking? No, I was probably angry at myself for being naive.

I had been naive. I had asked Sakayanagi-san for her help and I believed that she would take care of that. It was but a simple work for her. But I didn't think for what if she failed. It couldn't have been helped. After all, no one would ever imagine Sakayanagi-san failing. 

But I think she deliberately didn't stop Yanagi-kun since she knew that I wouldn't be expelled. After all, I wasn't the leader.

From the start, I was being fooled. Ayanokoji-kun was the leader but he had made me and the others, including President Nagumo think that I was the leader.

From the very start, I was dancing in the palm of his hand. I never realized it. I mean, there was no way I would be able to realize. After all, this is Ayanokoji-kun we are talking about.

There I go again.

I wanted to be acknowledged by him. I am doing my best to that end. I believe that I am doing it but it is nowhere enough.

Ayanokoji-kun had managed to fool everyone without as much breaking a sweat. It was nothing less than brilliant.

The way he does the things, hiding under the shadows, so smoothly, almost scares me.

And the fact that it scares me means that I have started feeling the bridge between us.

He and I are fundamentally different and the difference in our abilities was wider than the sky.

I knew that so very well.

Will I be able to ever get close to him? Will I be able to ever stand shoulder to shoulder with him?

Every time I ask that question to myself, every time I get a negative response from someone who is me and someone who is not me as well.

I want to walk side by side with him. 

But every time I am forced to realize the difference between us and every time that happens I start to doubt myself.

And I am angry with myself for thinking that every time. 

But I still won't give up.

I had suffered far more than this and had never given up. 

Getting acknowledged by him is the one thing I would never give up on.

If I were to give up now, I don't think I would be able to face my brother after my time here in this school.

It was already morning.

I slowly woke up from the bed and opened the curtains allowing the bright rays of the sun and a bright new determination to seep into my body.