UPSTEAD ONESHOTS

θυμός (THYMÓS)

Thymós: anger

First part:

He had just left Voight's office. As soon as he came back from New York his boss called him, asking to discuss about their situation, the new dynamic.
He knew he fucked up badly, when he went off book to put that drug selling son of a bitch behind the bars.
But he learned his lesson, the lines not as blurred as they were before he left to work with the FBI.

Voight told him he was still being monitored, every action of his would determine his stay in the unit, with the Intelligence.

He wanted to see Hailey as soon as he landed in Chicago but Voight's call delayed that moment.
He had a weird feeling, Hailey had been ignoring every text and call from him since he had left.

He knew she would be a little upset, since he left without a word, like a coward. But he knew Voight would have told her, only her, the actual reason of his departure.

Hailey wasn't in the bullpen that day, and after a little convincing, Trudy finally told him where Hailey was and when her shift would be over.
So he decided to wait in his truck, in font of her apartment, for her to come back from the court, before realizing he would look like some sort of creep.

But before he could think of anything, her car slowly pulled into her parking spot, and her head with mesmerizing golden hair poked out of the black car.

Her hips sweetly swaying as she walked, take away in her left hand and the keys in her right one.

He quickly opened his truck's door trying to reach her making some noise on purpose so that he wouldn't startle her.

He called her name, after months that sound leaving his mouth, ringing in her ears. He had never seen those baby blue eyes looking at him with such coldness, her face lacking of emotion apart from the slight surprise she revealed for half a heartbeat as she heard his voice.
She opened the door to her house completely ignoring him.

He was stunned and disoriented, what was going on? She didn't smile or talk to him. Didn't even look a him.
He followed her, not sure if she would kick him out at this point.

Her place was a mess.
Walls naked, boxes everywhere, the living room emptied from the glass table, the couch where they had silently drank so many times. The apartment lacking of her sweet touch

-What happened?- she didn't say anything, the only clue she was aware of his presence were her eyes on him. Staring with icy coldness.

-You would know, if you didn't leave- the first words he heard from her in months, spat out with such hatred he felt a hole in his stomach. Her voice different than he remembered. He knew well she used that tone with criminals, with people that pissed her off, with anyone. But never with him, not even when he fucked shit up, testing her patience.

He took a step back, as if her words physically touched him.
-Hailey- his strangled voice like a silent plead, begging her to tell him why she was acting like that.

-Nevermind- she whispered taking her eyes away from him to show the boxes all over the living room -I need to finish packing- as a way to ask him to leave, leave as he had done two months prior.

He was about to argue when his eyes fell on the garbage can near the corridor. His heart clenched with hurt as he saw one of his favorite pictures of them, at Molly's. They were a little tipsy, holding their beers together, cheering to Hailey's birthday. He had been so happy seeing her smile all night long, her laugh catching the attention of everyone in the bar. That day was special to him, the day he realized how fucked up he was, how much he loved her.
And seeing that memory of them, in that bin, as if their history was just trash, nearly broke him.

At his silence she turned, following his gaze right to the picture, she didn't even bother taking off the silver frame.
The hurt look in his eyes surprised her, but the memory of the day anger overcame her and she threw that picture away came to her mind.
-Jay- his name, oh his name that she repeated every night in her dreams -please. I need to finish this-

He looked at her, his eyes lost, heart thundering in his chest with the need to yell at her. How could she throw that memory away? Why didn't she talk to him?
Why?
Why?
Why....?
His heart crying for answers.

-What the hell is going on with you? Why are you acting like this?- his words harsher than he intended
She clenched the tape in her hands, reflecting the sound her heart made as it broke the day he left her.
She took a deep breath trying to calm the blood roaring in her ears.

-Wow- a bitter laugh leaving her lips - you disappear for almost three months without a word and HAVE THE AUDACITY TO COME BACK AND ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??- she yelled without caring who could hear her

Confusion.
Jay was confused, he knew he should have said something before leaving but he tried to reach her as soon as he landed in New York and was ready to confess her his mistakes. She was the one who ignored him.
He didn't want to yell but he was frustrated too
-YOU WERE THE ONE WHO IGNORED ALL MY TEXTS AND CALLS- his hands in the air, as he desperately tried to understand why were they yelling, why she was mad at him

She hissed taking a step back -yeah right. How dare I being upset after you left like that-

-Hailey. It wasn't a choice! I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO GO TO NEW YORK. I didn't tell you anything because I didn't want you to look at me as you are doing now- he immediately regretted confessing how insecure he was while they were fighting. No compassion on his partner's face. Just anger, pure anger.

-HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU WOULD HAVE CAME BACK!!!- there. That was it.
The reason, the explanation he was asking for.
He shifted uncomfortably , moving the weight on the other leg.
All this time he thought she knew why he was gone.... but maybe....
-Didn't Voight tell you...- he didn't finish the sentence

They silently stared at each other

She tried to look away as silent tears betrayed her stone cold face
-You left me and didn't say anything. You come back as if nothing happened. Wanna know why I'm moving out? 'Cause Vanessa left too.-

That's when his heart broke. The moment he realized how much his departure in addition to whatever was going on with Vanessa, affected her. His eyes softened as he tried to reach her.
But she took a step back, as if she was disgusted by the thought of being near him
-Hailey- a silent plead

-You told me how much Lindsay hurt you when she left without saying anything yet you did the same to me- she gave up, letting the tears fall down as she hated herself for showing her vulnerabilities.

He was confused and angry too. If she just answered his calls this would have been easily avoided. And it was a low blow bringing up Erin.

-That was different. We were together and I loved her- he had never in his life, regretted his words that quickly. What the hell was wrong with him?
That was the worst thing to say, and he knew it was a lie too. It wasn't any different because he loved Hailey too.

She took a step back as if he blowed a shot at her.

His eyes horrified as a bitter smile appeared on Hailey's face contrasting the tears freely falling down

-Right- that was it. She gave up, tired of running after someone who didn't feel an ounce of what she felt.
Not that she was surprised, she had never been the special someone to anyone. Not her family, her friends. Not her boyfriends. And definitely not for Jay Halstead.
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Hey there people!!!
What if Jay had been the one who left to work with the New York FBI? What if he didn't say anything to anyone before leaving?
Here how I imagine it going
Enjoy❤️
Comment and Like (if you want😂)
~Vidurangi 🦋