King of Hearts

2.

February 4th, 2018

Val has eagerly anticipated this day. Today her class is going to an Art Museum. As she is an art enthusiast, she can't wait to walk around the halls of the museum. Val puts on her favorite blue hoodie, slips inside simple black leggings, and tightens her hair into a ponytail. She fixes her bangs, gives her sleeping kitten a light kiss on the forehead, and leaves her room.

Joyfully she enters the kitchen and notices her mother sitting at the table, phone in her hand. "Dad left early?", Val asks briefly. She opens the fridge to grab orange juice, she takes a glass from the cupboard and decides to sit opposite her mother. "Yes. Apparently, a patient has gotten worse throughout the night, so he had to leave very soon", her mother responds without looking up. "Thank god," Val replies and fishes an apple from the fruit basket. Now her mother raises her head, looking directly at her daughter.

Val truly isn't in the mood of arguing with her father. Almost the whole week, her parents, in particular her father, tried to convince her not to participate in this class trip. Val even had to involve the teacher. Thankfully, they let her be, eventually. They always do whatever is needed, to distance her from any form of art. Val has always loved painting. It hasn't been much of an issue for her parents when she was still a kid, since every child likes coloring. Growing up, she continued with her passion and improved day by day. At that time her parents were proud of her only child, however, they never imagined, that it would have become Val's dream profession. They didn't react well when young Val told her parents that she wanted to become an artist. Her father thinks that art is just a hobby and cannot be turned into a profession. He started shouting and throwing insults, shaming random artists. Val still remembers his exact words. "Only incompetent idiots think that being a painter is a real job! Imbeciles that daydream all day call themselves artists. This is the real world where you need a real job!"

Her mother insisted that Val should follow in her father's footsteps and become a doctor, but she never had any interest. Val has always been the perfect child, straight A's, has never done drugs or smoked, has always been very obedient, well-mannered, and polite. But she does have a rebellious side and it shows when people interfere in her life. She respects and loves her parents, still, she won't accept their selfish expectations. She hated hearing her father's irritating comments for the whole week. Therefore, she is happy that her father isn't here to ruin her mood.

"I'm just going to ignore your blunt remark", her mother states calmly as she proceeds to tap on her phone. Val takes a bite of her apple and responds sharply, "It's easy for you to say since you aren't the one getting mean remarks almost every day." Val is steadily heating up. The relationship between her and her father is most likely inexistent now. Even though she carries so much anger inside, Val is also hurt by that. She always wished to have a happy and loving family. She too, like her friends, wanted to have a deep bond with her father, to feel love and affection. Why can't he just accept her dreams and be happy for her?

Val raises her voice. "I just don't get it. Why is he so bothered by my decisions and why does he have to make it such a big deal? He ruined our family with his selfishness! We could have been so happy if only he would have let me be who I want to be. Other fathers would have been happy for their kids. They would have praised them for being talented and having any goals!" Val stands up. She can feel her tears slowly coming and curses at herself for that. "I don't think you understand how it makes me feel. I feel judged and not accepted. He makes me even doubt myself and my abilities! It makes me want to hate him!" 

As she shouts the last words, her mother also stands up, pointing her finger at her daughter. "Now listen because I think you are the one who is not understanding. Do you actually think that your father doesn't accept you? Is that really what you think? Because if so, then you really disappoint me Val, and yes, you are very much a dreamer, a foolish one! Do you ever even imagine how much you mean to your father? He suffers as much as you do. He too wants to create a strong bond. And you dare say, it's his fault? It's all your fault because you won't listen to us! We want you to be happy and successful, and I'm sorry to break it to you but to be that you need to get ahead in life and be financially stable. Do you think it's easy to find a job as an artist? It's almost impossible unless you are extremely lucky. You might have to go abroad, how are you going to pay for that? How do you expect to pay your rent? How are you going to provide for your future family? We both care about you and we know what's best for you."

Val's face goes fully red at that last statement. "You think to know what is best for me, how could you say that? You are not me. You don't know what I have on my mind, what I think, what I like, or what I fear. You don't know anything, because as soon as I told you about my dream job, you lost interest in me!" Her mother's usually strict gaze transforms into a hurt look. "That is not true. I know everything about you, even when you don't talk to me. I know what goes on inside of that stubborn head of yours because I am your mother! I do know how passionate you are about art, but love, this is not the right path for you." Her mother decides to sit down as if the conversation has come to an end, but Val is not finished yet. "Who are you to say that? You have always taught me to listen to my heart and yet you won't tolerate me chasing my dreams? Forget it, you are not any better than dad."

Val, now done with this conversation too, storms up the stairs heading straight into her room. She fiercely grabs her bag and with the same temper, she rushes downstairs. As she is about to leave the house, her mother adds one last thing, which makes Val halt for a moment. "Please do not think, that we don't love you, Val. We just want the best for you." Before Val could respond not so gracefully, she opens the door and leaves.

On the way to the bus stop, she checks her phone and realizes that the bus arrives in 20 minutes. It's very windy and Val forgot her jacket at home, but she doesn't even think to go back. She prefers to wait outside rather than stay any longer inside of that house. Her home is always full of fights and slamming of doors. 20 minutes is a long time, a perfect amount of time for sorting her mind.

No matter how hard she tries, Val can't ignore the feeling of regret that is slowly approaching. She hates feeling weak and she hates to care, even though she can't help it. She acted childishly, as always. She is very short-tempered, she knows it, but that doesn't mean that she likes to fight. Not with her mother, even though she gives her plenty of reasons to. Why is she always on dad's side? Val expected more understanding from her. But crap, Val didn't have to be so mean to her, after all, her mother said it herself, she loves her. It's not a thing she shares every day.
But is it love when someone doesn't accept or appreciate your dreams? Why is Val not free to decide how to paint her life? How could parents be so invading and demanding? That's not caring, that's selfish! All she wants is to be left alone and live in peace. But now she can't do that, because her mother gave her something to think about. 

Val lives in a very small town, where people are close-minded and don't believe in dreams. Making money, feeding your family, and repeating the next day. This is the town's philosophy. It's very unlikely to find a job as an artist here, she will need to move. She will need to get a job though, preferably next to the university she will hopefully be accepted to. But what if she won't get accepted? What will she do then? Stay at her parent's house? What if she is not going to be able to endure the pressure? A lot of what-ifs, so many worries and pessimistic thoughts, that's not how Val imagined starting the day.

Exactly! Today is a happy day! Today, she is going to have so much fun with her friends at the Art Museum! She won't let any negative thoughts interfere with this trip, because Val is very well aware of her talent, she knows she has potential. Therefore, there is no way for her not to be accepted into university, where she can study art and step further toward achieving her dream.

All of a sudden, Val hears a loud shrieky voice shouting her name.

Cloé.

As she turns around, she recognizes from afar her best friends, Cloé and Stella. Yes, today is going to be a great day! While smiling at her friends, Val still can't shake off this feeling of anxiety. Anxious, about what the future will bring.