One of Us | Jegulus

Twelve

Regulus didn't sleep well that night.

He might have became slowly accustomed to live together with the enemy - they were, after all, enemies, right? - but sharing one room? That was a whole different matter.
Of course he didn't believe James would attack him out of the blue, there would have been plenty opportunities before, let alone the fact that James saved his life and meant to protect him over the last few weeks - had it been weeks already?!
Yet still, the lack of privacy and the proximity was something he wasn't used to.
And how James apparently had no problem whatsoever with the new situation and fell asleep after what was like five minutes irritated Regulus even more.
How could Potter trust him so blindly after all the threats and the fights and Regulus' whole history? He'd thought it before and he still came to the conclusion that this trait of him would cost his head one day.

Eventually, after hours he fell into a light sleep and the next day he didn't feel rested at all.
He was woken up by a nudge into his side. Alarmed he shot up before he remembered that he wasn't alone. He looked to his right and saw James yawning and stretching his limbs.
Their eyes met.
"Oh, sorry, forgot you were here", Potter yawned. His voice was deep and raspy after just waking up but the boy was already grinning up at Regulus. Why was he always in such an annoyingly light mood?!

Regulus twisted his eyes grumpily and dropped back into the pillows.
"What?", James pouted. "No good morning?"
"No", Regulus mumbled, pulling the blanket back up.
"How rude! Everybody else would find it an honour sleeping in my bed."
"Ew."
Potter laughed heartily. "Slept well, little Reggie?"

"Don't call me that. And no, I didn't", Regulus muttered, looking straight up at the ceiling.
"We have to change that. I don't want you to be uncomfortable!", James decided cheerfully. "I think breakfast in bed would be a good start!"
"Wouldn't be the worst", Regulus admitted, ignoring the fact that there wasn't really another option for him at this moment, anyway.

"Awesome!", James exclaimed and climbed out of bed. Shirtless, only wearing sweatpants and with even messier hair than normal, he grinned back at Regulus before leaving the bedroom, closing the door behind him carefully.

"I know everything seems more boring in my absence but for eating breakfast you should be a little more awake."
Confused, Regulus opened his eyes and looked in James' amused eyes. Apparently he'd fallen asleep again in the few minutes James was gone. Embarrassing.
"Shut up", he mumbled and pushed himself up, watching James placing a tablet on his lap and then dropping next to him on the mattress.

"Dora asked for you", Potter continued, ignoring the comment, and snatched a strawberry from the bowl.
"I'm a little bit jealous that I don't get to see the charming Reggie as often as she does. Why don't you tell me goodnight stories?"
"Shut up", Regulus repeated scowling. He picked another strawberry and flipped it into James' face. The latter tried to catch it with his mouth but missed it, instead it hit him on the forehead and left a small, red stain.
"You ruined my looks!", James exclaimed dramatically and clutched his forehead.
Regulus looked at his completely messy appearance and snorted. "Yeah, now it's ruined."

"I'm very offended, Mr Black!" He rummaged through the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out a long, thin piece of fabric. Regulus recognised it as a Gryffindor tie, which Potter now wrapped around his head like a headscarf, the stain hidden underneath.
"Perfect!", he announced happily.
Regulus couldn't help but laugh. "It hurts my eyes looking at you", he said and watched Potter putting on his glasses next.
"Now it's even worse."
"I don't believe you", he stated lightly, left the bed again and walked over to the mirror over dresser, inspecting his reflection. "No idea what you're talking about. I'm stunning."

"You're just like my brother, you're so fed up with yourself. It's awful to watch."
"Oh yeah?" James turned back to Regulus. "And what are you then, Mr I'm-the-pureblood-heir-fuck-normal-people-Black?"
"But I am-"
"A little annoying prat."
"I hate you."
"Nah", James grinned. "That's impossible. Besides, your insults are getting old. I'm kinda getting bored over here."
"Well, I'm not here for your entertainment."
"Still, you could try a little more. I think you could be so much more fun around if you stopped sulking constantly."
Regulus stared at him, dumbstruck. Then he frowned. "We're not friends, Potter."
James just shrugged it off.
"Too bad. I make exquisite birthday presents!"
Regulus hid a smile.

They went silent and Regulus started eating his breakfast. James disappeared in the bathroom and returned moments later in fresh clothes and with his hair the slightest bit more tamed. He joined Regulus on the bed and started to pick more strawberries from the bowl.

"Do you have anything to do today or will you steal my food all day?", Regulus asked a couple of minutes later, looking up.
"I actually have to leave in half an hour. Order stuff , don't know when I'll return."
"What kind of stuff?", he inquired curiously.
James frowned. "Honestly, I'm not sure whether I should tell you."
"Come on, don't you trust-", he interrupted himself. "Oh, yeah, I see."
The older boy sighed. "Sorry. I'll see you later, Reg?"
Regulus snorted. "Have no choice, do I?"

...

It was late when the bedroom door opened and James stumbled into the dark room. Very late.
Regulus, who hadn't slept at all yet, sat up straight.
"Are you alright?", he asked, watching every step of James from the door to his side of the bed. The older boy stripped off all his clothes except his underpants carelessly and threw himself onto the bed.
"James?"
"Mh?"
"Is everything okay?"
"I don't know. Fuck." He turned around, facing Regulus.
Regulus didn't knew whether it was the faint moonlight that made James look so pale, or something else.

"What happened?", he asked cautiously.
Potter exhaled slowly. "It's not going well for our side", he finally said. "So many deaths in just one night... We're losing too many. I don't know-" his voice broke off.
Regulus, totally overwhelmed, just stared at him. He didn't know what to say. They were on opposite sides of the war, after all. The last weeks he was completely cut off from reality, this was the first proper clue he'd got since arriving. So if the Dark Lord was winning... that was good, right?

But then, why did he feel like there was a heavy, suppressing weight on his chest when he watched Potter looking up at him so desperately, no sign of the cheerful boy he usually was.
He opened his mouth but couldn't think of any words, so he closed it again.

"You don't have to say anything", James muttered, who didn't miss Regulus' hesitation. "It's good news for you, isn't it?"
"No!", Regulus responded automatically. James frowned.
"I mean, people are dying, how could I be glad about that?", he added, not knowing whom he was trying to make this sense for, James of himself.
"But... that's literally the whole point of following Voldemort. That's all your Death Eaters are doing", James explained, his voice still very weak.
"It's not!", Regulus hissed, not sounding as determined as he would have liked to. "We're fighting for a better society!"

"Regulus", James began silently, sounding even more exhausted and sad. "You haven't seen much from this war yet. You're barely out of school. That's probably what he'd told everyone. 'A better society'... Do you know what that means? It means slaughtering everyone who isn't pure-blood. Which is 95% of the wizarding population. Perhaps even more. And god knows what he's planning with all these billions of muggles, but he'd already proven how little he cared about their lives so don't expect much from there."
"But-"
"Regulus, I really don't want to fight right now, okay?"

Both went silent and for several minutes just looked at each other in the dark. Regulus felt like he ought to say something, he just didn't know what.

"Please don't leave", James whispered eventually.
"I-"
"You wouldn't last out there, Reg. Please just stay with us."
He didn't know what to answer, instead he rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. He didn't know what to think anymore and he hated it.

Regulus could feel James move next to him. He flinched when their fingers suddenly touched. But he didn't pull away when James grabbed his hand and squeezed it pleadingly.
"Please think about it."

"If I stay here and you lose this war, I'll die with you. I don't wanna die just yet", he whispered back, sadly.
"We're not gonna lose!", James said, his voice much firmer.
"If you say so", Regulus mumbled.

They both withdrew their hands at the same time.