One of Us | Jegulus

Seventeen

Regulus didn't notice James leaving: when he finally woke up he was alone in the room.
And he felt cold.

He followed his usual morning routine: taking a quick shower in the bathroom, getting ready in front of the mirror and borrowing some comfortable clothes from James' dresser.

Nobody came to bring him breakfast. He even considered going down and preparing something himself but he forced himself not to. He didn't know how much of this "they want nothing more than locking you up" stuff was the actual truth and not some game of control over him but he didn't particularly want to test his luck. Besides, he figured that James would be really disappointed if he tried and that would only end up in another fight.

So he just picked the what felt like hundredth book from the little shelf in James' room and started reading, sitting on the windowsill.

Nobody came to check on him for the whole day and it had a great impact on his mood. He wandered around the room: his place on the window, the desk, the bed. Out of boredom he rummaged through James' cupboards but as he expected it wasn't very entertaining.

He missed James.

He felt like he'd rather die than admitting it but he missed that stupid grin that could light up a whole room and his excruciatingly annoying optimism. So while trying to distract himself, he actually only tried to kill time until James' return.
It was really pathetic what had become of him.

It wasn't before late afternoon when Remus entered the room and brought some pancakes.
"I'm sorry, I know it's late and you must be really hungry. We all left in a hurry," he explained and smiled at Regulus apologetically.
"It's alright," Regulus mumbled and started eating immediately.
"So, are you all back? Or just you?"

"Only me. James and Sirius were asked to stay for an additional shift. I think they won't come back until dusk."
"Great," Regulus muttered. Another couple hours of silence and boredom.
"Any chance the Longbottoms have found another place to live?" he continued grumpily.
"Actually, they could stay with the McKinnons, they've offered it in case it is too much for us. But they're our friends and we can't kick them out. Besides, we couldn't tell them the reason, right?"
"Sure, of course your image is the top priority here," Regulus grumbled.
"Oh come on, Regulus," Remus complained. "It's war, now it's more important than ever to stick together. This isn't permanent, just be a little more patient."

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Sure. Thanks for the food, I'd prefer to be alone now."
Lupin sighed and left the room. Regulus continued to sulk for the whole evening.

He also became kind of tired, which only amplified his bad mood. Thank Merlin that it still was quite early when the door opened another time and James was finally back.

"Hi," Regulus smiled and stretched out his arms to him. James reciprocated the smile and walked over to the bed, climbing on the edge and letting Regulus pull him into a hug.
"You have no idea how bored I am," Regulus muttered. "I hate your friends."
"Well, now I'm here," James grinned and shifted his weight on Regulus. They lost balance and crumbled on the bed, laughing.
James landed on Regulus and lifted himself up, now hovering over the younger boy. They both grinned at each other.
"Say you missed me," Potter teased. Regulus shook his head. "No chance."
"Come on, say it," he grinned.
"Or what?"
"Or..." James fell silent, thinking hard and frowning.
"Ha! Empty threats. How pathetic!" Regulus exclaimed triumphantly.

James glared down at him. "Outrageous! I should throw you off my bed for this!" He tried to pull Regulus to the side.
"No!" Regulus laughed, wrapping his legs around James' waist to cling on him.

James instinctively moved forward. But instead of shrugging off the younger boy, they touched.

At once, the whole atmosphere changed. They both stared at each other, captured in the gaze of one another.
James pushed forward again, deliberately. Regulus gasped.
His mind was blank, all thoughts wiped away. He couldn't understand the sensation that flooded through his whole body at their touch.

He pushed back.

In the next moment he felt nothing but James' hands at his waist, sliding under the fabric of his sweater, playing with the waistband of his trousers. He didn't dare to move, nor speak.
He wanted to feel it again.
The traces of James' fingers left shivers on his sensitive skin. When they slipped beneath his pants, he gasped.
He tugged on James' shirt, having forgotten how to communicate. But it didn't matter because he wouldn't know anything to say, or think.
His cold fingers left but only to slip back under his sweater, pushing it up. Regulus lifted his upper body instinctively, allowing James to pull the sweater from him and throwing it out of sight.
Only seconds later James tugged on his waistband and Regulus understood, unable to think, and jerked up his hips for James to pull down the pieces of fabric.

Now James could see him, and Regulus wanted to see James too. He slid his hands between them but James was quicker, fumbling with his belt before stripping everything off. His shirt followed quickly and he caught Regulus' hands in his, placing them next to Regulus' head on the mattress.

They both held their breaths. The air was thick and hot. Then James moved, lowering his body on Regulus, making them touch where it was most needed. And Regulus pushed back.

At first it was hesitant, testing. It was something Regulus had never felt before and something he couldn't possibly describe.
Soon their movements became quicker, more rhythmical and Regulus could feel something building up inside him.

His breath hitched, both started to pant as it became more and more intense. It didn't took him very long until he reached the point where he couldn't contain it anymore.

"James," he gasped, closing his eyes, moaning, breathing heavily. And James followed shortly after, calling out Regulus' name and collapsing down on him.

The sensation filled his entire body, unable to feel anything else, nothing but the hot weight of James' body on his own, the thin layer of sweat on their bodies, sensitive skin touching everywhere. His heart beat slowed down, he'd never felt calmer and more satisfied in his life.

It took him some minutes to form the first thought.
Until the realisation hit him.

What did just happen?!

Any pleasant sensation left his body, panic filling him up. No. No. This was so wrong. So wrong.

He suddenly struggled to breathe. He needed to get out. Immediately.
With all his remaining strength he pushed James from him.
"Regulus, what—"
Oh god, this was worse. Hearing his voice, meeting his eyes, seeing his naked body...
He scrambled out of bed. A pile of their clothes lay at his feet. He grabbed his sweatpants and slipped in, yanking the other piece over his head.
It wasn't his sweater but James' shirt but it couldn't matter any less.
His head wiped off all thoughts except fuck, fuck, fuck, he headed for the door.
But he was pulled back.
"Reggie, you can't go out—"
Out of sheer panic he pushed James away from him once more. Not very stable on his feet, James crashed against the bedpost, swaying and crumbling down.

Fuck, Regulus thought, and ran.

Out of the room, he swayed. One of these doors concealed an empty room in which he could hide. But could he? No. He needed to find a way out. For good. There was no chance he would stay here. He was disgusted with himself. James surely hated him now. If Sirius ever found out, he would kill him. How did this happen?! Oh god, he thought. He was a disgrace to his family. Even worse than Sirius. If they ever found out...

He stumbled downstairs. And now?
Where was everybody? He was scared, what if Sirius caught him again, forcing him to stay? He should have taken James' wand. But nothing in the world could force him back into that room.
He needed something to defend himself.

The knife, he thought instinctively and continued his way downstairs. When he passed the living room he was lucky, it was deserted. Rushing through the entrance hall he focussed only on the kitchen door, pushing it open and stumbling into the room.

It was too late to notice the couple sitting at the kitchen table.