One of Us | Jegulus

Twenty

Regulus thought he was clear with his reactions to any attempt of James—whatever he was attempting; Regulus couldn't wrap his head around it. But James, thick as he was, didn't pick up the hints and wouldn't leave Regulus alone.

Most of the time James didn't even try talking to him. Regulus wasn't even sure whether James actually intended anything or it was just his imagination. But he for sure didn't imagine the casual brushes against his skin, the subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle touches whenever they were in the same room.

It probably was the fact that Regulus had once reacted to James' touches in the worst way possible that now seemed to drive James to mock him into humiliation.

And the worst bit of it all was that Regulus—no matter how hard he tried or how determined he attempted to deny it—couldn't help enjoying it.
He was sure it was just because he missed James. Not James per se but he had been the only form of company and the closest thing to a friend Regulus had. Of course it was hard being deprived of the comforting proximity so abruptly, it hadn't necessarily to do anything with James himself. Anyone would react like this. Nothing wrong with that... right?

He was standing in front of the bookshelf in the living room, hands on his hips and peering up. He eyed the book with the dark green spine. It was a suggestion by Remus but it was slightly out of reach for Regulus, who'd always been smaller than he would have liked to be.
He shifted his weight so he only balanced on his tiptoes and reached for the topmost shelf board.

He didn't hear him approaching but in the next moment two hands found their way around his waist, holding him exactly where his shirt had slipped up and his skin was exposed.
Regulus startled terribly. He flinched and lost his balance but James caught him in his arms before he could fall.
A tingling sensation was sent off from the spots where their skin touched and filled his whole body up.
He gasped and then, horrified, quickly hid it in a cough.
James chuckled.

"What are you doing?!" Regulus panted.
"Oh... I just thought you could use a little help!" James said casually.
Regulus didn't know what to respond, he was too frightened by his own reaction. He and James had been physically close multiple times! It had always had a calming, relaxing effect but now it was driving him insane. He felt the urge to break away and run as far as possible but at the same moment he couldn't bring himself to move a single limb.
It was terrible.

"I— I need that book," he stuttered and raised his arm to point out the green one.
"Here you go!" grinned James and stretched, being taller than Regulus he reached the book easily and pulled it out of the row.
"Thanks," Regulus muttered, his face a flaming red. He wanted to step away from James but Potter still got a hold of his waist.
"Anytime!" he grinned and ruffled Regulus' hair before passing him the book and finally retreating.

Regulus walked backwards, slightly trembling, and crumbled into the armchair behind him.
Why did it feel like that?!

James winked at him before leaving the room again.

Regulus was unable to comprehend what just happened. He couldn't bend his thoughts around it and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to. He decided to be angry with James instead. He didn't know if he could endure the mocking and teasing for another couple of days. He hated the humiliation and even more he hated whatever it was doing to him.

The problem was that he simply couldn't confront James about it. He was scared of having a normal conversation with him, the few words they exchanged every now and then were already too much. Hearing James voice was too much. Seeing him, even just knowing he was nearby. Because the only thing Regulus had had for years was the safety of his own thoughts and the security in trusting himself and knowing who he was. But James seemed to take that away from him, just like his freedom, his privacy and his dignity... just everything.