One of Us | Jegulus

Thirty-One

Let's pretend it didn't take me three whole weeks to update this story.
I promise, I didn't forget you, life's just really really stressful right now and a tight schedule together with a writers block isn't the best combination.
I can't promise to get back to the normal update rhythm just yet but I'll do my best because I miss interacting with you all!
Also this is kind of a short chapter but more will be coming soon :)

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When Regulus woke up the other side of the bed was empty. He sighed. Why didn't James say goodbye? But then he heard the sound of running water from the little bathroom and he quickly sat up.
Only moments later James re-entered the bedroom. Regulus smiled hopefully at him but James quickly turned his eyes away and walked over to his dresser.
There was a dull feeling of disappointment in Regulus' stomach. He climbed out of bed and walked over to James, not being able to stand the rejection.

"James?" he asked tentatively.
"What?" He didn't even look at him.
"Can you please stop ignoring me?"
"Why should I? To let you hurt me?"
Regulus gaped at him. "Hurt you? When did I—Why would I—What?!"
James turned around to face him, arms crossed. "For starters, everything you said last night, maybe?"
"Huh? How was that about you?" he asked incredulously. When did they ever talk about James? Was he just trying to turn the situation to his favour or did he seriously interpret something that wrong?

"Well, the way you condemned what Sirius and Remus are to each other... what does that say about your view on us, hm?"
Regulus frowned, genuinely confused. "I really don't understand how there is a connection."
"You don't?" James snapped, his eyebrows raised.
"No—why would their—" He twisted his face, trying to think of a word describing whatever what was going on with the two of them.
"Relationship?" James helped, rolling his eyes.
"If you want to call it that," Regulus mumbled. "Anyway, why would their—relationship—affect our friendship?"

James stared at him for several moments until he sighed and shook his head. "They're two blokes sleeping with each other. We are two blokes sleeping with each other. What is the difference?"

"No," Regulus said determinedly, shaking his head. "You said yourself that this," he frantically pointed between James and himself, "is okay and nothing like anything like that. So don't act like—"
"So just because one relationship is different from another it means that one is better than the other?" James asked, his eyebrows raised.
"You're trying to twist my words!" Regulus complained. He was already worried about his intimacy with James, scared that it might mean anything, scared to have brought shame upon his own name, to have tainted himself, scared of what would happen if his family found out.
Only James' assurances that it just was a fun way to spend their time, a nice form of company and nothing more, kept him calm. It wasn't about whether they're two guys because it wasn't like that stuff at all. Regulus always knew that he'd return home eventually and marry a woman of high status and fulfil his purpose as the heir of his noble family. Those were two different things that did not correlate at all.

But right now it seemed as if James changed his mind and started to interpret something in their time together. Maybe he even wanted to push Regulus into a certain direction—this entire situation was too dangerous. He had so much to lose.
"James, please don't do this," Regulus pleaded before James could respond. "I am not like Sirius. I am still the heir of my family and I have to make them proud and not be a shame to their name! Don't you dare comparing me to a blood traitor and a werewolf—Merlin, he's engaging with a werewolf, it's so fucked up, I shouldn't be involved in any of this, it's so wrong!"

James sighed heavily, looking at Regulus with an expression of disappointment. "I know that you've been raised to think this way but you're not even trying to do any better. I don't understand your behaviour, I really don't. But I can promise you, sooner or later you'll turn people against you with this. Might even be us."