The Beauty of Winter. (Fanfic)

14

At midnight, it is finally silent in the Palace, everyone slept, except you and your brothers. No one told Thor that this would be the last night, wanting it to just be fun. You made Loki promise not too, knowing he wouldn't break his promise to you, he never had, even as a child he stood by his word when it came to you.

In the dead of the night, the three of you ran through the halls, laughing as you struggled to be truly silent; ducking below guarded windows and hiding behind walls as you made your way through the Palace. As you reached the kitchen, closing the door behind you, you all burst out laughing, you holding on to Thor's arm as you caught your breath. You all moved around, finding your favourite leftovers to smuggle back to your room.

You all held large trays full of food as you made your way back, hiding and ducking just as you did before. Except this time, as you rounded the last corner, you saw a guard facing the other way. You quickly grab Thor's tray, you and Loki turn back behind the wall, just as the guard turned.
"Thor, " the guard bowed his head, "is there something wrong? It is very late."
Thor hesitated before putting the guard on the shoulder.
"Everything is fine!" He laughed nervously as you and Loki sat ducked around the corner. The two large trays becoming harder to balance. You freeze as a cake rolls off and out behind Thor. You and Loki quickly stand, moving away, behind the pillars in the corridor as you hear the guards footsteps grow near. Thor picks up the cake, taking a bite out of it, "you caught me, I was craving something sweet so I snuck to the kitchen." The guard shrugged and walked away, having had enough of the weirdness for one night. Thor came and grabbed the third tray, the three of you making a dash back to the room.

"Out of all the things you could drop, you dropped a raisin cake! You know I hate those." You and Loki laugh at Thor as he bins the remains of the cake. In your room, you had draped blankets over the tall posts of your bed, creating a den, filled with pillows and small lights. You sit and talk eating the food you stole for hours, I mean there was a lot to catch up on after all.

"So what im hearing is you became the golden boy?" You nudge Thor, taking a sip of a drink.
"Obviously he did and I became the handsome one." Loki grabbed the bottle from you, drinking some too.
"I'm going to cut you two off soon," Thor smiled and you felt your heart begin to mend itself slightly.
"I bet you have connections all around the galaxy now y/n." Your thoughts are interrupted, you focus returning back to your brothers.
"Well no, I mostly kept to myself." You smile thinking of Bucky and Evelyn.
"Well you obviously met someone along the way judging by the smile on your face." Loki raises his eyebrows at you, waiting for you to tell them.
"I met someone during my time on Midgard," you feel your heart ache as you think of Bucky, knowing you would end up crying if you spoke of him, you decided not to, wanting tonight to be perfect. "Her name was Evelyn, one of the only people it truly hurt to leave, including you two of course." You glance over to your bag, with only the necessities. And a small box that contained all of Bucky's letters and small items that reminded you of Evie.

You get up, grabbing the box and opening it up, not showing the contents, instead grabbing out two rings that sat in the bottom, one that was Loki's and the other belonged to Thor. "I took these when I left, so I could take a piece of you with me..." you place them in their hands, showing the identical ring that sat on your finger. They both put the rings on, the small rubies catching the little light there was in the room.
"I love you two so much, always remember that." You pull them in to a hug.

It was dawn, Thor and Loki were both sleeping, you had stayed awake, watching the sun rise, writing in your diary. After you left, you wrote letters to Bucky, keeping them in a diary. You found comfort in it, like you were telling him about everything that had been on your mind. You knew deep down that he would never read them but it didn't stop you from doing it.

'Hey Buck, I miss you. I got to see my brothers again, but as usual, it won't last. Odin wishes me gone. So much for him being my father. I punched Thor, bad choice, now my hand is in a bandage. I forgot how much I loved spending time with them, I know it's going to take the last of me to leave them now I've lost everything else. I had a dream the other night, I was lay in a field with you, stargazing. It felt so real, you told me you would come home and that we would live together, happily ever after. But it was a dream and some dreams just don’t come true I guess. My heart will always belong to you darling, forever.'

You place the letter in an envelope, putting it in with the rest of your things before leaving. You don't look back, knowing it will make it all too hard, you just walk away, feeling waves of deja vu as you sneak out of the Palace for the second time now. Taking a space ship and flying off to yet another temporary life. Building up walls, so strong and so high, no one could break them. This time knowing the loneliness would take a hold and would never let go again.