Five Years After

11

Pagkauwi ko ng condo, I immediately snuggled beside Justin. Medyo may sinat pa siya pero masmahimbing na tulog niya kahit na sa bibig siya humihinga. Apat na araw na siyang inuubo at nilalagnat and I just started him on antibiotics on his yesterday. Noong una akala ko simpleng ubo at sipon lang dahil sa panahon, tapos naging masama ang ubo nya kahapon kaya agad-agad ako bumili ng gamot.

Yaya Elena was sleeping on a mattress on the floor beside the bed, katabi nya lahat ng gamot at measuring cups ni Justin. May thermometer pa syang naka-handa. Nirereport nya sa akin ang temperature ni Justin every 6 hours in case he needs another dose of Paracetamol.

While lying beside Justin and just feeling his steady breathing, my thoughts went back to Grace and Jaxx.

Hindi ko maalalang nakita ko sya sa mga pictures ni Jaxx sa Facebook pero nga naman hindi ko din sila tinitigan kasi si Jaxx ang tiningnan ko sa lahat ng pictures. Did they get back together even while he was in the States or dito na?

I rolled my eyes at myself for being so senseless. I mean, does it even matter kailan sila nagkabalikan? The main question is, are they back together? Kasi kung hindi sila, anong ginagawa nya sa condo ni Jaxx, ala una ng umaga? And surely she would not take the liberty of answering the door if hindi sila diba? Or would she?

Oh, Cara, what does it matter? He went back to her, diin ko sa sarili ko.

Yung inaasam-asam kong pangarap na sana mabuo ang pamilya namin was slowly going down the drain. I know I've been trying to convince myself that I'd be okay if Jaxx wasn't my happy ever after as long as I find one, but that was a big fat lie. Just like the lies I spewed about being over him and moving on, like the little fib I said that I didn't care what he did with his life, like that untruth that I claimed na hindi ako nasasaktan that he's dating other women and moving on.

Lagi ko syang iniisip, na sana nasa mabuting kalagayan sya, na sana hindi na sya maaksidente pa ulit, nna sana gumaling na yung fracture nya. Kinakamusta ko sya kay Ace. Minsan, nakikita ko pictures niya sa Lifestyle column ng mga newspaper sa tuwing may mga relevant social or business endeavors na inaattendan ng mga alta.

I was proud of him that he was successful in his work and his business was expanding, my heart swelled seeing that genuinely happy smile on his face when he graduated, na parang ako yung gumradweyt ulit na kapiling ang pamilya.

Pero kasi kasama sa kanyang mga success stories ay ang mga kwento tungkol sa mga babaeng nali-link sa kanya, how he is photographed with different women in all the galas and social events. None of them ever claimed na girlfriend niya and all the Lifestyle columns did was speculate who has gotten him smitten but there was always no comment on his end. Minsan lang sya nag comment na single sya and it was for that magazine feature on the hottest young bachelors in town, kung saan kasama sila ni Ace. After that interview, he never said anything about his private life again.

But that was three years ago and maybe a lot has changed and one of them was his status. And as the events a few hours ago at last sank in my head, the tears finally came.

Shit. He went back to her. He always did.