Five Years After

12

God. Dammit. Cara.

I marched a hole in the corridor outside Justin's room just thinking of what to say to Jaxx when I call him. I was going to make that dreaded phone call in a while because Justin wanted Jaxx to be there tomorrow morning. It was high time that they met formally anyway.

After hours of contemplating, I thought to myself what Jaxx always said when he threw caution to the wind: Bahala na si Batman.

I dialed the number Ace gave me and waited. It rang once, twice, thrice... I wanted to put it down but then he picked up on the fourth ring. Sana namatay na lang ako.

"Hello?" hearing his voice immediately made me lose my composure. "Hello? Sorry, hold on I'll move to a quieter place." Maingay ang sa likod so I don't think he realized na hindi pa ako nagsasalita. He's still out partying at two in the morning. God, I hope he doesn't go home with Grace tonight. For my sanity's sake, let me not find out.

When it was finally quiet, he spoke again. "Hello?"

"Hello, Jaxx?"

There was a slight pause. "Yes."

"It's me. Cara."

"Cara," he repeated.

But the way he said my name, it sounded strangled like he was hurting him just to say it. I thought I would never get tired of hearing him say my name. But not like this, not when it felt like it was the last thing he wanted to say.

I leaned on the wall for support. Suddenly, the cat's got my tongue and no matter how I tried, my voice couldn't get past the lump in my throat.

I heard him sigh. "Do you want to say something or should I end this call?"

"I, uhm, yeah. Sorry." I breathed. Inhale, exhale. There's no point in beating around the bush because I could not form words as quickly as I should and I don't know if he would listen. "If it's not too much to ask, can you come by the hospital tomorrow, six am?"

There was a calculated pause. "This invitation is rather late, don't you think? It's two in the morning and I'm still... indisposed."

I'm surprised that he listened to my request and that he was talking to me. In fact, I'm surprised he even stayed on the line when he realized it was me.

"Yeah, I can tell. I'm really sorry to disturb you, I just needed to ask. For Justin."

"For Justin. Really." he was doubtful and borderline mocking me. I wanted to argue and tell him that I wasn't lying. If I had my way, I would not call him, not tonight at least. But I closed my eyes and bit my tongue. It was hard to believe but it was the truth. I needed to get the message through.

"Yes, for Justin. If you could make time –"