Ultimate's Book Of Thoughts (Ranting Book)

random 8

hmmm

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well i published a summary video today

and as usual, i got people who pointed out stuff that i already knew

"wELL acTUALLY wE meeT tHEM IN-"

"weLL ACtuALLY sQUID SURVIVES-"

i fcking know that already. i just didn't mention it because if I mentioned everything we would be here for an hour. i wish people would stop doing the actually thing when it is clear that I KNOW THAT.

me not mentioning something does NOT EQUAL me not knowing it.

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i have come to realize that nothing i create seems to be good enough.

not just for my audience, but for me.

there will always be those people who support me in literally everything i do- who always come to my premieres and my chatrooms and don't judge no matter what.

and theres a comfort in that, i guess. but when so many people support you, it's easier to see the people who don't.

the ones who won't stop asking questions instead of sitting back and enjoying it.

the ones who think that just because they didn't enjoy something, that it is terrible.

the ones who think i owe them perfect video quality with no mistakes despite not getting paid for any of this.

the ones who criticize my art and the characters I make.

those are the people who caused me to delete my books, to stop making certain videos, to avoid telling people my identity, to avoid confrontation at all. those are the people that made me stop posting art on wattpad.

nothing

i

do

is good enough for them.

nothing i do is good enough for anyone except the ones who support me endlessly and won't stop trying to get me to admit that I am an "art god".

---

theres something bagel said once that stuck with me

some rant about me

and people calling me an art god

and honestly i agree

im tired of it

it's not that i dont get the meaning behind it, i do, and i appreciate the support it holds, but,, it feels like an empty compliment now

like they don't kno what to say so they just say art god and leave it at that

i dont need compliments to feel better

in full honesty, compliments only work when its from someone i love, or my friends, the people whose opinion i actually care deeply about

so ppl trying to get me to admit that im good at art just feels weird

im not good at art honestly, i just keep trying and it's what people consider good

i dont want to be convinced

i just want to keep trying

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ok im feelin bad again now so uh

whatevs bye

- Ultimate