so i had this thing in the old book where i would make "random thoughts with ultimate" whenever i just wanted to put random stuff down. i'm just calling this random now, and it'll be numbered.
so yeah.
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i'm sick and tired of people constantly telling me that Cascade looks like Glory. Just because he has sunset-colored wings doesn't mean that he's suddenly a copy.
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why can't people let other people enjoy things? why do people gatekeep who can be what, and who can do what? like it's important sometimes but when it comes to unimportant things why tf does it matter how someone else lives their life?
i used to be happy and confident, but people kept telling me that i had to do this or i had to be that.
just let. people. exist.
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i want to be able to curse and i'm still mad that i'm not allowed. abbreviations are as far as i'm allowed to go and i hate it
it's not even that i really care i just, want to be able to, for the sake of being able to do it yknow
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loyalty is... really hard to write.
not because of the enbean or because of the plot, but because of how many things i'm juggling at the same time. it's not just plot, it's also memories and backstory and characters that will be there too and making sure everyone falls into place
and on top of that, every other comment is a question about what will happen, despite the fact you don't need all the information in chapter three wtf
this is part of why i considered leaving wattpad several times, or at least drafting my books. this is why i turn off comments in my summary videos sometimes.
people won't leave me alone.
one mistake? fifty comments.
one detail that's slightly unclear? that's all the comment section is full of.
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this isn't a vent but i'm kind of proud of my anguis lion discord server... like... it's kind of alive again? i came back to a living chat and i wasn't even on, like the stuff i've been adding seems to be working, and everyone's happy or at least functioning together
i'm also so glad for my Deities, they're so amazing and are there whenever i need them to step in
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i'm so sensitive
or at least, that's how i feel
every little thing seems to hurt me
honestly i've been trying, and my secret channel on discord for affirmations seems to be working
it's just,,
what if i can't do it
what if i'll always be this way
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i don't have the energy to write a chapter or do anything productive but i guess i have to work on my commission
work comes first...
okay bye
-Ultimate
YOU ARE READING
Ultimate's Book Of Thoughts (Ranting Book)
Randomif you're looking for the original, you won't find it. it was written by someone who isn't me anymore
