Ultimate's Book Of Thoughts (Ranting Book)

random 11

time for another almost-breakdown :DDD

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theres just

a lot at once recently

but we'll start with the fact that someone on facebook said that trans people shouldn't be included as part of the LGBTQ+ acronym

and then her reasoning was that... she had a bad experience with one trans person once. so she thinks trans people shouldn't exist.

uh

okay?

excluding everyone from a single community because you had a bad experience with a person from that community makes no sense but go ahead and call me names i guess

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people will not stop with the comparing characters thing.

i posted a picture of my vampire queen pitcher plant themed dragon, Queen. it gets compared to two video game dragons.

i post a picture of cascade. he is compared to a rainwing, and glory, every single time. i dont even post him anywhere except discord anymore because people will not fcking stop.

just because. he has sunset wings. does not mean. he is a rainwing. istg i hate this so much.

and it would be fine if it was just once or twice but the comment section on a speedpaint of him was mainly people saying he's just a copy of glory.

he's one of my favorite ocs and i just want people to leave me alone.

i'm so tired at this point. i dont get why people feel the need to compare my ocs to someone else's. it just hurts. it makes me feel like i didnt do a good job making it original.

i had to turn off comments on that one speedpaint of him because it was so bad. i almost never do that unless it's necessary

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ive been learning to drive these past few weeks, got my learners permit

i can parallel park, go on the highway, and im pretty good at normal parking now

but there is one thing i cannot master

sharp turns into buildings

like when you're on a main road but there's a small opening to go to Member's first

or ur on a main road but u have to turn really quickly to go into a gas station

its really hard because i don't know where to go

i never know the turn is coming and im so bad i almost always miss it

i have nightmares about crashing and missing turns all the time now

my mom says she doesnt care and its normal but i cant listen... its just too hard

i have 3 hours recorded of drive time

why am i so bad at this i should be at least a little good already..

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started playing terraria w my bro again

really hard

i mean the game is fun but its hard to play with him

he plays video games all day and is rly good but im not

and he always plays w the mindset that u play a game to win it

i just wanna enjoy it but we're fighting bosses every time we play and i die over and over

whenever i ask to slow down he gets mad bc he's ready and im not

he was ready to enter hardmode after three days of us playing

i only had 180 health.

(you're supposed to have 400 by that point)

at least he gives me gifts :) its kinda sweet actually

im never as far along as he is but he'll be grinding for something random and then he comes up and says here and gives me a really nice item just to be nice

i like that part of playing

when we can chat and just have fun

not so much the boss fighting tho i dont think ill ever rly be good at that

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literally so exhausted of everyone and everything

its so hard to function when there's almost nothing i can focus on

my mom asked me on a walk a week ago if i could tell her something good about my day

and i couldnt

i still cant

the only feeling i can muster is exasperation. im tired of people comparing my ocs. im tired of arguments. im tired of being told i dont belong in my own community.

i just want to feel okay, or happy, but all i feel is numb

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-ultimate