Ultimate's Book Of Thoughts (Ranting Book)

random 10

haha wow theres ten of these my mental health really do be like that huh

well anyways

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so I'm pretty sure i cant drink iced coffee anymore..

which sucks because it's like, my favorite drink. and i love it so much

but we're pretty sure it's the cause of all my migraines which btw suck

i hate migraines so much they don't go away and i always get nauseous so i cant eat but then i get hungry but im too nauseous to eat and its just round and round

dont you dare even mention tylenol or magnesium bc i have tried those before and nnnnope it does nothing

ive tried massaging my temples and that really cool pressure point where the back of my head meets my neck like in the crease if i press that it feels good my dad taught me that trick

but it only gives temporary relief

so ig its time to get rid of iced coffee...

at least i can still have starbucks frappes those are literally the best thing ever and have hardly any coffee they never did anything

yum

whatevs ill get over it

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its a new month which means

waiting for my period to come which means craaaamps yaaaay

i get really really bad ones

like stay-in-bed-because-of-the-crippling-pain kind of cramps its not fun

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my mom said we could go out driving today but the plumber guy is still here (we gots wonderful clogged pipes) and she cant go until hes gone for some reason

so i guess no practice today..

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thinking abt that time my grandpa came over and we were chatting and i mentioned how im probably gonna have to take our cats with me when i move out bc my parents want a dog instead

and he just said "nah, you'll take em for a while and then itll be your parents problem," and laughed

everyone laughed it off but like... wtf? i am perfectly responsible enough to have cats and just because my mom's sister dropped off a cat on his doorstep doesn't mean that im gonna do the same thing

deal with your own problems. take it up with your other daughter and not your grandkid who is tired of dealing with your crap

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in the middle of typing this i was told in the middle of handling an issue in a group that i modmin, that i think i'm better than everyone else

why the heck can everyone not take consequences

i oftentimes make the rules. or, i help make them. you are trusting that i not only know the rules but that i will enforce them. and when you just go ahead and break them and blame me when i call you out, i am apparently the bad guy.

i am an admin. i am just trying to do my job. i just want to help. and then everyone just blames me for their mistakes.

did you break a rule?

that is on you.

its not my job to detail the rules exactly so that you know how to behave. you should know how to behave like a decent person.

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well crying now so thats fun

cant wait to look at my notifs, see the person get even mad at me, and the other admins try to console me even though its not their job to do so

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im so, so tired... not physically just mentally

i just want to be able to live and exist

why do people make it harder for me

why do they always lash out

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planning a new story but i feel like its gonna be bad. i only have the climax written and thats it.

whenever that happens i dont finish the story

and i wanna finish it, i just

dont have the energy to

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- ultimate