Recruit

Chapter 33: Free

[[AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the second to last chapter! The next one is the last. I thought I'd better prepare everyone for the ending of the story lol.  Happy reading, I love you all!!]]

You sit in the cockpit of the Night Buzzard, tears streaming down your face, hiding your emotions from the knights in the cargo hold of the ship. Your new home. Their homecoming. The First Order will never find the knights of Ren on their side. Ever again. Kuruk offers no more words of comfort, he doesn't touch you, doesn't offer to hold you like he once would. You feel a surge of new power and purpose, all the while you're falling to pieces.

Kylo is gone. You never even got to know him in the first place. Not really. Whoever he was when he was good, Ben, is out there, much too good for you. Your heart twists when you think about him with the scavenger. She seemed good. Maybe he's with her, off on the run from the entire galaxy.

Palpatine knows you hold the Ren. You're sure he can feel himself loosing his grip over the minds of the six men on this ship. But not once did he ever have yours. The power you possess feels good. It feels right, and you would love to have more. But you don't aspire to rule, to dominate. You don't need him. You just want to belong. To live your life how you see fit. And now that life is in your grasp... though you aren't sure what to do with it yet.

You're headed to Exegol anyway. And you wipe your tears off your cheeks, trying to summon the courage to face the old monster. You'll have to get the knights in line first...will they be willing? You don't think so. They seem to fear their distant master, always listening when he whispers in their heads. You can't feel the knights emotions and energies with your block, only Kuruk's who's inside your imaginary Shadow bubble.

He's nervous. And rightfully so. This is an unexpected turn of events. And he's probably nervous to face Palpatine as well. But the really shocking part is his confidence in you. You can't believe he so quickly relinquished control to you. He called you Master, which feels all wrong. And he thinks you can free the knights. Back to their old lifestyle before Kylo.

You shake your head, relaxing your hands and balling them into fists inside your gloves to shake off the cold numbness. You have work to do. And your knights have work to do. My knights... you used to call them that, but now it feels different. Before, you were trying desperately to belong with them. And now... they belong to you. And you'll likely have to force them into submission. Something you dread.

You fix your damp hair into braids, tight on your head so nothing can get in the way. Then you wipe your face and eyes, trying to get rid of the evidence of your emotions. You spend a long moment just breathing. In the nose and out the mouth. Gaining control of your emotions, forcing your dark shadow to the front. Without the Ren in in your hand, your power is back to a cold blanket surrounding you. But you can feel the rushing, angry heat against your body, the hilt tucked into your waistband at the hip.

You look at Kuruk finally, who's gazing out the narrow viewport as stars stretch by.

"Well?" you clear your throat, and he turns to look at you. "How do I look?"

His lips purse. "Like you've been crying..." he says hesitantly.

"Gaahhh, fuck it!" you stand up, disposing of the blocking shadow around the cockpit, and strutting out into the seating area with your head held high.

The mumblings of the knights immediately cut to silence as you walk out and look around. They're all staring at you with various emotions expressed on their faces and in their energies. You've never seen the knights this chaotic and ununified. And you have no idea what was happening out there while you were working through your own emotions in the cockpit.