A temp, is hired to help around at Sam & Max Freelance Police.
Analyzing the address again, (Y/N) feels a sensation of uneasiness, what with the business only having two employees. Sketchy. Although (Y/N) struggles to make ends meet with their rent...
The Freelance Police: *Walks inside Bosco's Inconvenience*
Bosco:
Sam: You were hurt, what do you remember?
(Y/N): Just the ambulance ride.
Sam: We didn't take an ambulance, I drove.
(Y/N): But I heard a siren.
Max: That was Sam.
Sam: Sorry, I was nervous.
Brady Culture:
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(Y/N): You're telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over seventy years, made this salad?
Sybil: You're technically not wrong with that number and I hate it
(Y/N), getting snacks from Bosco's: Do you want to hear a joke?
Bosco: No.
(Y/N): Yes, you do. So–
(Y/N): Sam, I-I've been your employee for a while...but you're really starting to piss me off.
(Y/N): Sam is choking! Quick. call 911!!
Max: I would, but the 9 button doesn't work!
(Y/N): Just turn the 6 upside down, that makes it a 9!
Max: nice
Sam, stops choking: What the fuck?
Max: I'm a moderate, peaceful rabbit, truth be told.
Sam: Just yesterday you threw a chair at (Y/N).
Max: Yes, which was a moderate, peaceful compromise from the table I was going to throw at them.
Max: Yeah we're just friends but I'd fuck you if you asked
Sam: What
Max: What
(Y/N), shoveling popcorn in their mouth: He said he'd fuck you if you'd ask
(Y/N): You have no idea what I'm capable of
Jimmy Two-Teeth: Don't take it personally, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.
Sybil: You're a pain in the ass, but you get stuff done.
Sam: A delightful compliment.
Sam: Everyone always asks me, how do you handle your co-workers?
Sam: The secret is, I don't. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning, (Y/N) called my name, and when I showed up to see what was going on, Max shot me in the throat with a nerf gun.
Bosco, after they bagged $10,000: Where the hell has that one been?
(Y/N): A journey from from a Neutral Good to Chaotic neutral.
Max: We all need to work together to find the perfect balance of letting me be a menace but never getting mad at me.
Max: Looks like Sam did the dishes after lunch.
(Y/N): How do you know I didn't do them?
Max: Because once when all the knives were dirty you cut your sandwich with your keys
Sybil: Max, you need to react when people cry!
Max: I did. I rolled my eyes.
Max: I had a dream last night that my arms turned into fried chicken, and they smelled so good that I decided to eat them.
(Y/N): That explains so much about you.
Max: I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
(Y/N): I'd be more comforted if you didn't put feelings in air quotes.
Max: Here's the thing though. Is it still a murder if I give them a heads up?
Sam: I think that's called a threat.
Sam, knocking on (Y/N)'s apartment door: (Y/N), are you ready to come out yet and interact with people?
(Y/N): *TIRED SCREAMING*
Sam: Understandable, have a good day.
Sam: A vodka for me, and uh...they'll have a Capri Sun
(Y/N): Sam, I'm over 21 years old
(Y/N): I can buy my own Capri Sun
Sybil: Lord, give me the patience
(Y/N): Don't you mean strength?
Sybil: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead
(Y/N): Did you have to stab him?
Max: You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to me.
(Y/N): What did he say?
Max: "What are you gonna do? Stab me?"
(Y/N): Fair enough
Max: If you water water, it grows.
Sam: . . .What??
(Y/N): Hold on, Max's onto something.
My understanding of the characters
-
Sam-Would stab a bitch on occasion
(Y/N)-Would stab a bitch if annoyed enough
Max-Give him a call, he'll gladly stab just about anyone!
