(^ Made that myself)
Max: Hey, do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?
(Y/N): You're a hazard to the society.
Sam: And a coward. Do twenty.
[Skipping rocks on a lake]
Sam: It's such a lovely day.
Max: Take that you stupid fucking lake
(Y/N), calling Sam: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Sam: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
(Y/N): Not when you're playing with Sybil, it's not. She puts words like "ephemeral" and I put words like "dog".
Sam: How sure are you that this plan is going to work?
(Y/N): ...eighty-five to eighty-six percent.
Max, shrugging: We've gone on much less.
(Y/N), before going on vacation: Okay guys, since you won't be able to contact me for a week I've left a complimentary bowl of advice
(Y/N): For instance, "Stop doing that" just applies to everything!
(Y/N): Be careful when you cut the onions, they can make you cry
Max: NOT IF YOU MAKE THEM CRY FIRST
Max: *violently stabs the onion*
The Director, about Myra to Sam:
Sybil: Are you drinking Mountain Dew for breakfast?
(Y/N): Yeah. What did you have for breakfast?
Sybil: Nothing.
(Y/N): I'm doing better than you, then.
"Max? I have an excellent track record with Max. Why, just the other day he almost didn't attempt to strangle me."—(Y/N)
Sam: 911, what's your emergency?
Sam: What do you mean 'you're getting murdered'?
Sam: That's illegal, people can't do that.
"(Y/N) put salt in my coffee because I annoyed them, but I'm going to continue to drink it because I'm petty and won't let them win."—Max
(Y/N): *knocks on the office door in the middle of the night*
Sam: What are you doing here?
(Y/N): Running away from my problems.
Sam, moving aside: Come on in.
Sam: Uh, excuse me. Who's in charge here?
Specs: Well, usually that's whoever yells the loudest.
Max: *Taps table*
(Y/N): *Taps back*
Sybil: What the hell are they doing?
Sam: Morse code.
Max: *Aggressively taps table*
(Y/N), slamming their hands down on the table: YOU BITCH, TAKE THAT BACK!
YOU ARE READING
Sam & Max Telltale Games | Reader Insert
AdventureA temp, is hired to help around at Sam & Max Freelance Police. Analyzing the address again, (Y/N) feels a sensation of uneasiness, what with the business only having two employees. Sketchy. Although (Y/N) struggles to make ends meet with their rent...
