Peter Parker Oneshots

Five pointless calls, and the 1 time that phone call actually mattered.

Trigger warnings: None

Word Count: 1942

History, the only class Peter wasn't advanced in. Even though he lived with 2 people from the 40's, he just couldn't remember different things about the past. His teacher, loves making fun of him for not knowing what is happening, and in his class, they have a rule. If your phone goes off, you can decline it, but if it goes off a 2nd time, you have to answer it while on speaker.

We can all guess what happened to Peter.

*What doesn't kill you makes you stronger* His phone went off, and that ringtone only meant one thing. The motherhood of women empowerment herself. Natasha Romanoff, superspy. Peter's face flushed red as he answered the call, knowing she would only ring back.

"Before you say anything bad, you're on speaker infront of my history class because it's a rule or some stuff." Peter scoffs and hangs his head, knowing it must be bad if he was being called in school.

"Hi Pete, sorry for interrupting but do you know where my throwing knives are? I left them on my dresser last night but I can't find them. I've had them for 16 years, they are special to me." Natasha replies, with a hint of worry but anger in her voice.

"Umm have you checked in your top right drawer, sometimes you put them under your socks if you think they might get stolen for a prank." Peter says, trying to get this over with as soon as possible. His class look kind of confused and whispers about who that could be.

"Oh my Pete, you're a lifesaver. We on for training tonight still, i think we're going to do Judo with Bucky before we get into the sparring and then we are talking about adding weapons. Sound good?" Nat asks, wanting confirmation.

"Yeah sounds good Nat, can't wait." Peter just decides to sort it out at home.

"K, I'll see you after school then. I think Old Tiny Stank wants to pick you up from school, so be careful he'll probably turn up in some bright orange Mercedes or something. K, love ya. Bye" Natasha finalises before she hangs up. Peter's class and just staring at him and he sinks into his chair wanting to dissapear.

*Juice flowing down your thigh* Peter's phone goes off again.

"DAMN IT WADE!" Peter shouts, flustered from his ringtone his boyfriend obviously changed. The snickers in the background aren't helping.

*If you're horny, let's do it, ride it, my pony* The ringtone continues before Peter finally accepts the call.

"Wade, what did you do to my ringtone. That just went of infront of my entire History class you moron." Peter exclaims, too tired to deal with this right now

"I hope you like it baby boy but we have bigger business. Tony's chasing me and i need somewhere to hide otherwise he's gonna cut off my fingers and toes and gouge out my eyeballs." Wade fumbles out, very out of breath

"Wade what did you do?"

"Let's just say last night the shower wasn't as loud as we thought, thin walls really are a curse." Wade admits, while snickering himself.

"Fuck off Wade, that's your problem not mine."

"Wow, i didn't know you could be that mean to me babyboy."

"Shut up Wade im busy. Now deal with him yourself and hope you choose a good enough hiding place. If you survive Tony, hope I don't find you, because my history class did not need to know that."