Peter Parker Oneshots

Sassy Peter Stark

Word Counter: 1139

Let's just say Peter is one sassy biatch when he wants to be. Like father like son I guess.

The Saturday before, the Starks had a press conference revealing the identity of the heir to SI, Peter Stark, and things went swimmingly... until school came around.

It was a Monday, and Peter got dropped off at the front of the school, instead of round the corner like he normally does. The black SUV rolled up and the barrier seperating Peter from the front rolled down, leaving Happy with a grin on his face.

"Good luck Kid."

Peter's window automatically rolled down and he looked out to see a big blue banner, reading 'WELCOME BACK PETER STARK!'

The teen only scoffed before rolling up the window and barrier again, signalling to Happy he was going to be a minute, but after that minute, he had changed completely. From a science pun T-Shirt and baggy jeans, to a posh blazer and matching trousers, complete with a bright red tie. Happy outright laughed at that sudden change. "Like father, like son. Now get out and go deal with your own bullshit while I deal with mine."

Peter waved as he shut the door, the car instantly speeding off. When the car's engine roared as it drove away, the front of the school went silent and everyone stared, but Peter just took it in. He looked around and the principal came jogging out, with an outstretched hand waiting.

"Mr. Stark, what a pleasure it is to have you here today. I'm glad you could take time out of your busy schedule to be here today."

If Peter was taught anything, it was to improvise and take no-one's crap.

"Jeremy." If the man was going to use formalities, Peter would just demote him. "I guess I could just fit my education into my oh-so-busy  timetable today, and thank you for the great banner, it's very nice."

Peter could see the principal grimace at the use of his first name, and the fact that Peter wasn't falling for it, because how funny would it be to embarass the Peter Stark infront of loads of people, some of which were broadcasting the conversation on Instagram.

The principal took a step towards the front doors, but Peter didn't move. He could see in his peripheral vision that many students had their phones whipped out, so he simply took a pair of sunglasses from his pocket, and put them on before sauntering towards the school, overtaking the principal and leaving the man stunned on the football grounds. As the famous teen wasn't there anymore, the match started again, and after a few minutes the ball hit Jeremy right in face, ending him flying back a few feet as pupils laughed at him.

Peter had an assembly held in his honour later that day, and after his dad found the first clip so funny, he slipped on his tinted EDITH sunglasses again and was immediately notified that his father was watching the live broadcast, as was the rest of the Avengers.

Peter was standing outside the double-doors for his dramatic enterance when the principal  came up behind him with a bucket of glitter, but what the old fool didn't know was there were mirrors on the glasses, so at the last second, Peter opened an umbrella and the sparkled deflected, poofing out right in the 'attackers' face. The trumpets sounded and Peter burst through the doors, confidence leaking out of his posture as he positioned himself infront of the microphone.

"Hello everyone, thank you for having me. Before I start, are there any objections to me being up here?"

Flash stood up quickly, taking the chance and raced up to the podium, leaning into the mic himself. "I object and would like to publicly humilate Parker infront of you all." Again, people were recording.

"Correction, Stark. Not Parker, Eugene."  Peter leant down to the mic, but kept eye contact with Flash. "Let's settle this like the very mature adults we are, with a roast battle."

The crowd ooh'ed as a second microphone was brought out on request and Peter and Flash faced each other, Flash started quite quickly.

"You always call me stupid but can't think of any other insults, Parker. You have the insult range of an idiot."

"Once again, It's Stark, and I'm sorry if I called you stupid, but I thought you already knew."

Flash grumbled incoherently "What are you, a twig?"

"What are you? An ass?"

"See what I mean people, all Stark does is throw around sarcastic answers instead of actual roasts." He adressed the crowd, some of which mumbled in agreement or disagreement.

"I'm sorry Eugene, but if you didn't want a sarcastic answer, why did you ask a stupid question?"

'Burnnnnn' or 'Sheeeeesh' echoed around the room as Flash stood there going slightly more red before insulting back.

"You are such a good-two-shoes, like honestly can't you just admit that Starks aren't good at something and show your true colours. We all know you don't agree with me,  so your opinion doesn't matter."

"Flash honey, it's ok if you disagree with me because I can't force you to be right."

"Stark you need to step up your game with these insults. They're about as crap as your mum probably is in bed."

This stopped everyone in their tracks, because they all somehow knew that Tony Stark would know about this and rain hell on their classmate, but Peter broke the silence.

"Ok Eugene, is your nickname Flash because you're so fast in bed huh, because that comment was completely uncalled for, so don't you dare get my family involved."

"Penis, just admit I was right because I always am!"

"Wipe your mouth Eugene, there's still a bit of bullshit around your lips."

'SHEEEESSHHHHH' 'DAMN FLASH GOT BURNED' 'GO PETER' The crowd's noise was deafening to Peter, but Flash's voice was louder as his heavy breathing into the mic silenced everyone.

"Go to hell, Peter Stark."

Peter looked over the top of his glasses with a completely straight face. "There's a special place in Hell for me Flash. It's called a throne." A smirk broke out on Peter's face, but then he broke eye contact and walked out the doors, leaving screaming students in the distance, everyone going absolutely wild.

The principal stood on the corner of the stage looking angry while Flash just stood in the middle as a few people from the group threw the odd shoe at him, the boy even got a heel to the head at one point.

Peter was an overnight sensation if he wasn't already, and the condescending look over the glasses and a smirk was no longer associated with Tony, but now Peter, who really was... following in his father's sassy footsteps.