Ackerman's Steppes / Levi x Reader

Chapter 4: A Puppet and a Puppeteer

You are trying to open your eyes but they feel like they were glued. You feel warm sunlight rays on your whole face. You blink a few times and finally open your eyes. It was probably because you haven't slept normally in two days, therefore your eyes dried out.

And it didn't help that you had to stitch someone's wound in the middle of the night with the help of candle's light. It wasn't the best course of action with you feeling basically barely conscious of your movements. You feel like you shouldn't act so bold in the future, you have to be as professional as you can.

"You fell asleep," suddenly Levi says in a monotonous voice. You realize that you passed out on the chair whilst checking on him. He is just sitting up on the bed and looking at you expressionless.

"Yeah, sorry about that. It's really unethical from my side," you stand up and glance at him. He seems way better but just as nonchalant as usual. Well, you kind of did a good job coming here. Wonders, what could have happened to his arm, if it was swelling at that rate. "You should eat that," you take a quick look at untouched food. You went through all of that trouble; he should at least eat it. He just nods blankly.

You look at the food again.

"Of course, it has gotten cold. It's not healthy for a patient like you to eat cold food. I'll get you some hot tea, if you want to" you look at him. He nods again but this time awkwardly.

-

As you are boiling water in the employees' room a nurse rushes in calling your name instantaneously before you get a chance to finish what you are doing.

"I just don't know what's happening to her!" she runs in screeching. She's that new girl, thus she's still very emotional. You follow her to an old woman's room. She is shaking and grabbing onto things.

"She's having a seizure. Get some nurses here now!" you order her and rush to the woman. You turn her to the side so she could breathe more easily. You quickly push counter further from the bed. You don't hold her limbs since it would just make it worse. You ensure that her head is protected and there are no sharp or hard objects in the bed for her to grab on. You wait for the nurses.

-

No matter how many times you pressed her chest with force, she didn't wake up. Her heart stopped; it couldn't withstand such neuronal activity in her brain at this age. You rarely have to deal with these since not many people reach this age in your town. And she had that disease too - she had no chance anyway. But you still feel remorse. You didn't want her to die. You still believed in a glimpse of a chance of her survival.

You are so tired of this. Seeing people dying almost every day. You know that it's just how this job is but still you feel empty. You are unsure if you would have picked to be a doctor, if your life was different.

It's all such a haze now. Your mother reading and writing about herbs every evening next to the fireside. She always looked so peaceful and was trying to catch every bit of light she could to help her see. She couldn't write in daytime because she was always busy working to provide for you. It's hard to be a single mother.

Your father... You don't remember him as much as your mother because he died at a young age at work. Well, particularly outside the walls. He was one of the scouts when they were just starting to form. At early stage of their expedition's death numbers were way higher than now.

Your mother has told you many stories about him when he was young. He seemed like a very bubbly and open-hearted. My mother disagreed with his choice to be a scout but he didn't listen. He always told her that she just doesn't understand.

You can't grasp what he meant; his wife was pregnant with a baby girl and he chose some kind of inner objective over you and your mother. The only memories you have of his image is him talking with such happiness and hope about what he saw outside the walls and what sensation it gives him. The other image you have of him you prefer to not acknowledge.