Ackerman's Steppes / Levi x Reader

Chapter 16: Poignant Redemption

It's early aurora. Little areas of the forest's ground are lit with bluish rays that manage to get through the huge trees' branches. It reminds you of a play with luminescence, something that usually isn't seen in a place like this. It's magical, tempting and soothing.

It's so quiet that your inner self forgets about everything and falls into one's soul's tranquility.

Some early birds are softly chirping; chilly breeze gently shakes tent's roof's cloth making rustling sounds.

Cold fills up your tent. You subconsciously rub your limbs to create some kind of warmness.

Your whole body feels stiff, vulnerable and even feverish. You did something you can't reverse back and it haunting you now.

"Levi?" you murmur when you realize he is not in the tent with you. Rush of fear and regret runs through your mind making your skin shiver. You wonder how he managed to leave without you noticing. Sincerely, you are a little scared to look into his eyes. You never know for sure what he really thinks, especially after this...

After a few minutes you hear creaking sounds in the distance. Soon enough, you see Levi's silhouette through your tent's opening. He is carrying something in his hands.

He kneels down and gently puts them on the ground one by one. Instantaneously, after he finishes laying everything down, it ignites and you can now see Levi's face lightened up with bonfire's slowly emerging fire.

Levi is painfully gazing at it. His face looks stiffer than usual. His deep blue eyes are sleepy as always. He is breathing quietly, but heavily. His mouth narrowly opens every time he exhales excessively looking conflicted.

It's obvious that he has a lot on his mind right now. You know that your romance makes no sense. He is way older and, just when you both confessed, you jumped him with your own selfish desires without acknowledging his opinion. Pressuring him is slowly eating you up inside. How could you be so reckless?

You waited for his feelings for so long, ergo you didn't want to wait longer. You were desperate and scared because, just when he confessed, he wanted to end your conversation like it never happened. In that moment, you wanted to feel secure no matter the cost, even if it was Levi's morality; you didn't want to lose your chance.

Now, that you see him in that state, alone and true to his feelings, you know you made a mistake.

You got what you wanted, but did Levi?

"Levi?" you force yourself to speak out. You can't bare the guilt of watching him so pained. You want to somehow apologize to him.

"Do you want some tea?" he sluggishly turns to you and looks back at the bonfire.

"Sure," you nod. You were right; there is quite unpleasant atmosphere between you two. "We should talk," you utter. He nods. You awkwardly get up, curled up in your blanket, and join him at the bonfire across from the tent.

"I shouldn't have let myself..." he doesn't look at you.

"No," you stare at him. "It's okay... You only did it because of me. We got caught up in passionate moment and," you know you are at fault when it comes to what happened tonight, but he wanted you too. Levi shyly turns to you, but doesn't say a word. "And, I don't regret it," you continue.

"No, it's not that. I don't think I can return what you feel for me," he whispers. You stop breathing for a second and bite the inside of your lip; the painful feeling goes away and you are able to continue talking.

"What, do you, exactly, feel for me?" you ask him with all of your courage. You want to know the truth; you don't care how much it might hurt.

"I care about you," he looks at you confused. " I can't promise you anything. I might not comeback from an expedition one day," he tries to explain himself. You don't care.