It's so empty everywhere.
-
"How have you been?" Walter sits on a patient's chair and crosses his legs. You frown.
"I guess I expected more people to come in" you look down. "It would be nice to forget about everything and just simply work like I always used to. Now, I have too much time for my own thoughts and it's just tiring," you open up to him. It's not like there is anyone else who would understand your situation right now. He stares at you intensely.
"What's gotten you so confused? You seem like a strong and independent woman..." You look up to him. Walter looks sincerely interested, but you don't like his comment.
"Environment. I think you can tell how devoted I was to my little hospital, ergo this place is the opposite of it and it's hard. I keep telling myself it's going to get better, but, honestly, does it?" you know you can't talk about Levi, which is the main reason you are so down right now, but you'll at least explain him your homesickness. It plays a huge part in your angst too.
"What do you hate here? You barely need to do any work and can finally relax," he smiles. "Unless you are a person who can't sit around," he adds.
"It's obvious I am," you faintly roll your eyes. "I suppose I never had time for myself, so it's scary because I don't know what to do with all of the free time I have now. These few days I'm just sitting and waiting for someone to come to the infirmary is way more draining than seriously working all day," you sigh. It doesn't help that Levi is out on an expedition.
"Ella, perhaps, there's something else that is bothering you?" he raises his eyebrows.
"I don't think so," you stare at him. You don't want him to get any weird ideas; he is already strangely clingy to you since you came back from the forest. Or, he doesn't have any patients too and just wants to get to know you more personally. You wouldn't want either right now. You can't stop thinking about Levi's well-being.
"You can talk to me anytime," he awkwardly smiles and rubs his neck. "I'm quite lonely here too sometimes. I find you to be similar to me, so sorry if I came off too friendly or... " Walter babbles. You nod.
"It's okay, I'm just not used to conversing so often, so sorry for being so blunt," you sincerely smile at him. You can't judge a person who is trying to help you; he's genuine about it too. You aren't the only person struggling, so you decide to be more compassionate yourself.
-
It's unusually quiet. Everyone is silently eating, albeit all of the higher ups are gone. First few days newbie scouts were obnoxiously loud, since there was no one to scold them, but particularly today everyone is just silent. New scouts, who were considered inexperienced for going on the latest expedition, were left to train because scouts choose a dangerous strategy this time.
Dining room's bizarre tranquility is making your stomach twist.
You quietly eat your soup, which is basically boiled water with a few old potatoes and carrots, whilst examining the room.
You don't dare to ask anyone what's happening. It feels wrong for you to break the silence. Maybe someone else will do it.
Even Walter is focusing on the food instead of the eerie atmosphere. He usually notices your confusion and rushes in to explain or help you, but this time he doesn't. This is why it feels especially not right to do anything but eat and patiently wait.
-
No one said anything. You are kept in the dark, but you know something must have went wrong with the expedition. You can't think clear anymore because you are slowly slipping away in a total mental obscurity.
YOU ARE READING
Ackerman's Steppes / Levi x Reader
FanfictionY/N (Ella) is a young doctor, living by Wall Maria, where scouts usually start their expeditions. She hates them for their obstinacy to keep fighting because it only leads their soldiers to their deaths. Ella is the one, who has to constantly bear t...
