My Secret Mate

Chapter 16

I've been seeing an at home therapist, in secret, for 5 days now. She's understand but prodding. She longs to get into my thoughts, into my heart. She asks me why I felt the need to hurt myself. But isn't the answer clear?

Mates are forever, they are unbreakable, supposably. I tell her about my dream, about the moon goddess. She nods and says, "it's very common for the moon goddess to speak to you you through your dreams. The unconscious state is most safe for her." Understandable I guess.

"It just hurt, it hurt my whole being, to see Jacob with another woman, especially in that way. He is my mate, my other half. That's what drove me to want to hurt myself. All I felt was mental pain, I thought that physical pain would be good for a change," I told her. She wrote something down in the little brown leather notebook she had. "Vanessa, Luna, I want you to know, that you are not alone, so many people feel the way you do. Many people have experienced that same hurt as you. Some even in this pack, but for privacy reasons if prefer not to say who," she bowed her head in respect.

I nodded and said, "someone else in this pack has been cursed by the witch?" "I'm afraid so, but they worked it out and they've found away to stay away from their, how do you say, secret mates," the therapist says. My eyes widen... Secret mates. And after all this time, I thought in the beginning Jacob was my secret mate. Man, was I wrong.

Our session ended and I thanked her before we got up and walked out of Jacobs office. Jacob waited outside the door for me. He thanked the therapist and sent her on her way after telling her to mail him the bill. He took me into his arms and kissed all around my face. "You. Are. Beautiful," he said with a kiss between each word. I blushed and he grabbed my hand of the arm I cut. He pushed my sleeve up and first kissed the palm of my hand. "You. Are. Amazing. You. Are. Loved. You. Are. My. Perfection," he said with a kiss between each word up my arm.

Ever since that night where he walked in on me, he has been nothing but supportive and caring. It was almost like old times, except now I was different.

But things, day by day, have been improving excellently in the pack. We have improved the safety of the pack houses, updated our prison cellars, and established three new underground bunkers for woman, children, and the elderly during an attack. Currently, Jacob, Brayden and all pack warriors have been working on extensive measures and plans to improve the security of our borders.

No one has forgotten the threat of the rogues. The rogues have been quite silent the past week. All the alphas suspect it was because the mass meeting that was held at the royale castle. It was the most logical reason for their inactivity.

Jacob told me to go upstairs and to shower and get ready, since the pack has improved in it's safety measures, Jacobs decided to throw a pack party tonight. It actually made me excited. I ran up the stairs to our room and to the shower. I quickly washed my body and hair, making sure it was silky and soft afterwards.

I got out and blow dried my hair. I tied it really tight in a bun in top of my head and blow dried the bun. I did my makeup, exceptionally. I did a golden bronze smokey eye and a nude lip color. I spent my time on it, perfecting the wing on my eyeliner. After an hour of makeup, I took my hair out of the bun, it had natural cascading waves that flowed down my back.

I smiled and went to the closet. I looked through everything, tonight I needed to look good. I needed to look strong. I needed to look like a Luna. I decided on a navy blue dress that hugged my upper body and once it reached my hips, it flared out. I matched it with some navy blue wedges and put on the necklace that Jacob had gotten me for my 18th birthday.

I took one last glance at my appearance and then went downstairs. I stopped at the last step and took a nervous breathe. I just wanted tonight to go well and for Jacob not to feel like he has to literally keep his eyes on me at all times. I haven't hurt myself since that one time. I realize that it was wrong, but I just couldn't think of another escape.